Thursday, September 13, 2012


I'm an arbitrarian.  It's not a word, a real word at least.  I thought I made it up.  Nope, already used and defined on Urban Dictionary.  But, they got it wrong.

Here it means a librarian of arbitrary stuff, arbitritus, if you will (that word is new, although it is a Latin verb form).

In a big pile, on top of the computer box thingee, tilting, close to falling, are all the papers and crap, the arbitritus, that I have scanned to use here on ihopeiwinatoaster.  If it were somehow preserved, as is, for several thousand years, it would certainly befuddle anthropologists.  It is a weird pile.  Here is what I am adding to it today.

This treasure map:

It is, perhaps arguably, THE WORST TREASURE MAP EVER!

I know it is a treasure map because it was rolled up and had a ratty little string around it when I found it.  It's old, judging from the tattered edges and aged patina.  I zoomed in on the old 'X marks the spot' part there on the right.  So, I guess you are supposed to leave "your house," meander through the mysterious, not so scary apparently, land of Onotamis, go right to the the very edge of the world and there will lie ye treasure.

But where is Onotamis?  Is it a water world, the treasure sunken beneath the wavy surface?  Do I live close, considering the fact that my house is the starting point?  Could I at least get a scale here, or one measly coconut tree?  I'll never get to my booty with this stupid map...

On second thought perhaps it is THE BEST TREASURE MAP EVER!

I am also adding this:

You don't know what it is, do you?  Well, I do only because I have encountered these before on intelligence tests (or perhaps it was a psycho test), where they give you three or four images or symbols and you are supposed to infer the final one and choose from a group of three or four.  Say there is a rabbit, a gun, a turnip and then you infer the last.  Obviously, you choose the steaming bowl of Hasenpfeffer.  Easy right.

Let's try it together.  Happy squid-amoeba-thing, backwards streaking S, puking fan-tailed opossum leads us to...  I'm gonna go with...

(He's from this post.)

See, easy, peasy.

So, two more bits of arbitritus added to the leaning tower of nonsense here.  Two more bits of the puzzle of their youth I am trying to create for them.  Two more grains of sand in the beach of love I have for them.

(Really, 'beach of love?')

You may remember from 'Stumpers and Befuddlers' that I sometimes don't get the full story when I find something to use here.  I wrote the above before I knew what I know now.

The land on the map, Onotamis, is, and this is clever because you'd never guess it, Anonymous.  Mystery land, indeed.  Oh, and Pirate Nick said something about "invisible ink."

Also, the IQ test?  Not.  Happy squid-amoeba-thing; a scorpion (wtf).  Puking fan-tailed opossum; an elephant.  And this...

is a "whaddyacallem, Daddy?  You know, a picture that you use to show something else, a... shogun?"

"A logo?"

"Yeah, a logo for the band Zack and I are making up called The Second Place Sluggers.  See, it's sort of an S, like sluggers and it's sort of a two, like second, and, it looks like a snail or a slug, like sluggers."

I can say this with some certainty:  Best band logo EVER.

I really want to be in The Second Place Sluggers, think they'll ask me?

No comments:

Post a Comment