tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36808514140738053022024-03-13T13:01:27.488-04:00ihopeiwinatoasterTwelve years ago this journey began. Our twin boys were six and I initially just wrote about the cute stuff they did. In fact, the name of this blog came to be because one day I heard them chanting “ihopeiwinatoaster; ihopeiwinatoaster” over and over in the basement. Time passed, I tried to go a little deeper, say important things. However, those cute boys are at university now and their stories are their own. So, what’s an old blogger to do? Well, I guess that’s what I am trying to find out.Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.comBlogger506125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-57396345536225464732024-02-16T11:42:00.001-05:002024-02-16T11:42:51.068-05:00A Lucky Night for Goldy<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"> </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">There’s a
memorable Far Side panel where a goldfish emergency transpires on a stage - a
broken bowl, flopping fish - and a member of the audience is standing up and
says “Why, yes, I’m an ichthyologist!” The caption says: A lucky night for Goldy.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">In A Prayer
for Owen Meany, the titular character is doomed for a particular ending, “THE
SHOT” the boys call it. Throughout the novel, Owen and the narrator John
Wheelwright - amidst the typical madness of characters and plots and all that
Irving stuff – practice an odd, highly choreographed and complex basketball
shot, obsessively. The final scene of the novel shows you why and it is heart-wrenching
and amazing.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It could’ve
been chaos and perhaps looked so. The twins are just weeks old and there I am
in the kitchen washing bottles, organizing them, filling them, and warming
them. Over and over again. There is precious breast milk to manage and divide
out. There was Enfamil and ratios and math, more math than I’d thought,
percentages and stuff. There were timings and schedules and to-dos and constant
juggling and re-prioritizing. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">There was
the procurement of goods – diapers, wipes, onesies, formula… diapers – and the
rotating of the stock and one day it just hit me: No other job path could have
better prepared me for taking care of twins than the restaurant business. I’d
spent nearly twenty years of my working life, both front and back, in the
business by then. It seemed uncanny how it all coalesced. Food costs and recipe
development gave me the math; kitchen management, the organizational skills; the
improvisation that it takes to keep the priorities straight and get the job
done that is the dance of all waiters and bartenders and line cooks and hosts
made the sudden swings manageable and, honestly, kept it interesting.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">As I
continued on as a stay-at-home-parent, I saw this all more and more. Now, I was
never a good enough Presbyterian to really get on board the whole
predestination ride, but…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Kismet?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Karma?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Sheer dumb
luck?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Maybe,
though, maybe we do everything for a reason. Maybe absolutely every move you
make, every thought you have, all of it, is terribly important –
essential.<span> </span>We just don’t know, always, just
quite how.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">So, earlier
this week I was our local SongFarmers event here – basically just a good old-fashioned
hootenanny - at the local library and a woman sang a song and another joined
her in the chorus. I just barely recognized the song and can’t remember it now
to save me, which is, arguably, not helping the narrative. All the same, it was
great, and the song sounded sweet and it was a nice moment.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Across the
room from her, a younger fellow sat and listened. He asked if he could tell us
all something and proceeded to say that as long as he’d been in the local music
scene, he’d always wanted to hear these two, unrelated artists (in fact they
don’t really even know each other) sing this song, in particular, together. (Again,
what song would help, but I can’t imagine how I’d find out. The style of performance,
‘round-robin’ it’s often called, is fleeting and the moments come and are, as
quickly gone.)</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Now, what struck
me about it, and him as well, is that the whole scene was so incredibly
unlikely. Here’s a song, they both know, they’ve both learned and practiced and
played for years and, of this one particular evening, it comes together - out
of the beautiful void - in the presence of the one guy who’d always wanted it
to happen. He was physically and emotionally stung by the serendipity of it
all.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Weird.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I know, for
a fact - although I could never verify the numbers - that there are thousands
(tens, hundreds) of folks like me and my SongFarmer compatriots playing songs
and learning tunes and practicing riffs and improving tone in their basements
or music rooms or porches or parlors every damn night. I belong to guitar
forums and acoustic performers pages and even get ukulele posts fed to me by FB
because, well, correctly for once, they’ve determined that’s my vibe. I
certainly don’t mind; I like knowing ya’ll are out there.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Sometimes
folks perform a tune and post a YouTube video and a link on FB (which FB
loathes and is trying to end) and a handful of people might look at it, perhaps
like it, but, at the very least acknowledge it. I love these. Like the “’zines”
of the eighties and nineties, or the old recordings made for a few bucks on a
45 or a little self-published chapbook of poetry, they show me what’s important
to you. And they show me, fundamentally, that what we do has meaning, worth and
is good – always good.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">But, back,
just one more time, to the cold quiet basements and hot, steamy summers picnic
tables where we labor at it all. I feel we are doing it for a reason, always,
that, again, even in that seeming silence, we are not doing it for naught, now
way… never. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I secretly
imagine a scene where aliens land and one little guy comes out, looking annoyed,
and says that if someone can grant his one request then all of earth will be
spared. “Can anyone,” he asks sheepishly, “show me how the chords in the chorus
of ‘Blowin’ in the Wind work? Is that a B minor in there or what?”</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And I’ll
hold up my hand and say: “Why, yes, yes I do know that part.” And the world
will be saved because I’ve played that song to the void a million times.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Glad to
help.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Here's a link to the <a href="http://www.songfarmers.org/" target="_blank">SongFarmers </a>page, if you are curious. <br /></span></span></p>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-66012342698118855102024-02-09T08:42:00.000-05:002024-02-09T08:42:43.748-05:00Al, Is That You?<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"> </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Did you see what
Merriam-Webster’s word of the year was for 2023?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“Authentic.”</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">They could
have chosen Artificial Intelligence, “AI” (which always looks like Al to me,
like the shortened version of the name Allen or Albert) or “rizz” or “deepfake”
but didn’t. Authentic won out, and I think it should have.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I am sure
the decision was indeed a way to call out AI and all the ramifications of it. I
see AI all the time these days and I, for one, am sort of frightened of it.
Others more so; artists, photographers, writers all see it as a threat to their
livelihood and creativity. College professors wade through fake papers.
Politicians use it to slander and defame their candidates. Phones fix bad
backgrounds, eliminate people and objects, even aggregate a number of images
into one, fake, image where everyone is smiling. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">What
frightens me more is the AI we don’t see and won’t see even more in the future
as it gets better and better and more nefarious and, well, meaner. I should
acknowledge that, as I understand it, AI can be an amazing tool – predicting problems
and treatments in medicine, finding anomalies in weather patterns, aiding in
the building of those amazing images from the Webb telescope that surprise us seemingly
every day, and in so many more ways I am sure I will never know. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And, you
know what? There’s another thing I think I should be thankful to AI for – it
has sent me on a search for the truth, the actual, the authentic.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I ask
myself, more than ever, perhaps even for the some of the first times in my life,
is this real?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">That’s
profound and exactly what AI is designed to not have me do.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I listen to
a lot of new music, mostly Americana, Folk and Bluegrass, and am finding a new
voice coming through it all, a true voice, a real story, a new authenticity
and, honestly, I think a lot of folks are looking for that as well.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">At The
Grammy Awards last Sunday there was a lot of big, big stuff – costumes and
choreography and songs from artists I don’t know and never will – none of it AI
(I assume) but, for me, fake, somehow digital. And then…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Enter Tracy
Chapman, analog, a guitar and an iconic song, Fast Car, and then, Luke Combs
joins her and I am holding back tears. The crowd roared; the show stolen.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And then,
and then…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Joni Mitchell
comes out with her beautiful helper and friend, Brandi Carlisle, and sings Both
Sides Now in a spinning throne-like chair and her walking staff and re-steals
the whole damn show. Imagine, a woman – a young woman – writes a song in 1966,
records it and it becomes a huge hit. (I remember my dad loved it and the
song’s been echoing about in my mind for decades.) She records it again, a
lavish production, in 2000. And then, she sings it again in 2024 – a frail and
beautiful woman, strong and tender and so, so lovely. I let my tears run…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">…as they are
now.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">In an
opinion piece in The Washington Post just yesterday, Kim Ruehl writes: “I felt
these things again as I watched Tracy Chapman and Joni Mitchell sing their
songs. At its best, a song can remind us there is light on offer every day.
After the past few years of world events, it still feels as though we are
emerging from our tiny cabins. We are pretty sure we know what to expect. But
then the light comes — just like that. With it come the tears. We didn’t know
how much we needed them.”</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Ms. Ruehl
wasn’t the only one to mention these two performances, out of the dozens Sunday
night – journalists and artists, friends and so many others could not help but marvel,
comment and revel in the confelicity that we all shared, the joy.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">What we saw
was authentic.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">What we
witnessed was the truth.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">We saw
unadulterated beauty.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It is not
surprising that, in this world of AI and deepfakes and this maelstrom of
untruths, many of us saw and savored this moment, humans are better than it
all, I swear.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Originally
when this all started, (when? I don’t know, it just kind of seeped in, didn’t
it?) I was angry and distrustful and vowed to not fall for it and eschew it at
every opportunity, and not allow it in my life.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Well, that’s
not going to work out and life upsets me enough already.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">But
something else happened, I look harder now for the authentic.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Go on out
now and look for it and yourself, you’ll see it.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">A little
league baseball game.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">A high
school musical.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The lyrics
to this new song or that old one.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The poems of
our tender sons.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The tears of
a lover lost.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The stone
truth in a memory turned to the sun.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Look for it.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">AI can simply
not compare to the brushstrokes in a Rothko painting, the story in a Norman
Rockwell, the images of Mapplethorpe, the detail in a Vermeer. It cannot
compare to “To be…” or </span><span lang="EN" style="line-height: 107%;">"When he was nearly thirteen my brother Jem got his
arm badly broken at the elbow..."</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span> and all that comes after those lines. </span>It shall never even
hum to Brahms’ German Requiem, Bohemian Rhapsody or an American in Paris. It
could never conjure the folk dances of the indigenous or put on the slippers at
the Bolshoi Ballet.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It can never
get to the truth of it all, this Art.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Seek that
truth. Seek that place. Seek that, well… Love. Like the Tinman of Oz, you can
see its heartlessness and will never get one. It simply… can’t.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">There is no
Artificial Love.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-63502082252563620262024-02-02T16:45:00.001-05:002024-02-02T17:04:31.049-05:00Poetry is Hard, Memory is Sweet<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I’ve been
sick this last week – the same old cold, flu-like symptoms, sniffly, stuffy,
sneezy gunk that has meandered across this modern country for decades at least.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“Somethings
going around” they say. No real treatment. Common.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">So, I am not
as prepared today as I sometimes am; more prepared than others, honestly.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I have
struggled with finding a clear timeline through my life. “Now” roams through it
all like that same virus that sores my throat and muddles my mind a bit. You
know this, I’ve mentioned it before… like, well, all the time. As hard as it is
to explain sometimes makes me think is just me.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And then you
recognize it somewhere else. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Someone mentions how they can’t remember when
something was, but it seems like just yesterday. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">You see a face, your face,
mine, and can’t imagine when that face is, could it possibly be me, you, now? </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">A
sun sets in tomorrows yet to come… today.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Sometimes you can read it in a favorite Christmas story by Dickens.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Sometimes it
weeps from a poem by Li-Young Lee:</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span> <i> </i></span><i><span>
</span>Mnemonic</i></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></i></span></p>
<pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>I was tired. So I lay down.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>My lids grew heavy. So I slept.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>Slender memory, stay with me.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>I was cold once. So my father took off his blue sweater.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>He wrapped me in it, and I never gave it back.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>It is the sweater he wore to America,</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>this one, which I've grown into, whose sleeves are too long,</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>whose elbows have thinned, who outlives its rightful owner.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>Flamboyant blue in daylight, poor blue by daylight,</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>it is black in the folds.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>A serious man who devised complex systems of numbers and rhymes</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>to aid him in remembering, a man who forgot nothing, my father</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>would be ashamed of me.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>Not because I'm forgetful,</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>but because there is no order</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>to my memory, a heap</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>of details, uncatalogued, illogical.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>For instance:</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>God was lonely. So he made me.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>My father loved me. So he spanked me.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>It hurt him to do so. He did it daily.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>The earth is flat. Those who fall off don't return.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>The earth is round. All things reveal themselves to men only gradually.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>It won't last. Memory is sweet.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>Even when it's painful, memory is sweet.</i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></pre><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>Once I was cold. So my father took off his blue sweater.</i></span></pre>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> <b>____</b></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Poetry is
hard. Yes.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">(Thanks for
reminding me of this one, Nick.)</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">If you are ever looking for a long-forgotten poem, it's probably here, <a href="https://poets.org/poem/mnemonic" target="_blank">poets.org</a></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-82908250290807589442024-01-26T09:09:00.004-05:002024-01-26T21:38:22.186-05:00With No One to Tell My Upset To<p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Walk with me
down the streets and trails and memories of my childhood map. We’ll just go out
the garage here and head out to the street, Bunnel Road - rural route three,
then four and then finally: three, eight, nine, one, four arbitrary numbers for
me to learn as a boy. It’s a bright and pale green morning, Spring of nineteen-hundred-and-seventy-two.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">We’ll go
left on the road up here at the end of the sharp stone drive. There, that’s my friend
JB’s house, it’s early in the day and the usual hum of activity from five kids
there is yet to begin. Here’s the Childers’ and Dodds’ houses, close to the
road, childless now and silent.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Bunnel
(sometimes one ‘l’ sometimes two, even on official Union township maps and
titles and such, no consistency) dead ends under a tired old STOP sign, the
letters cracked and peeling, right into State Route 741. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Let’s scurry across
here - the trucks and cars go fifty, sixty miles an hour and the road drops off
both ways and the visibility is limited; hard in a car, too. No dog today so we
needn’t worry enough to pick him up and rush him across the street, confused
and irritated – the dog that is.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Yes, it is
sand. And pebbles and crushed stone. Down the road behind us is a very busy
sand-and-gravel company with pits dug in between the fields and meadows, ponds,
and streams all around here. The sand especially spills from the rusted, diesel-black-smoke-bellowing
dump trucks that rumble past our house back behind us now and race down this
state road.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">There’s what
looks to be a pull-off up ahead and just beyond that is a rutted gravel road. Step
carefully, it quickly steepens and snakes right. It’s an abandoned pit they
probably had to quit because the road’s so close. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">So, that’s how this works, on
a flat, ever-widening floor sits a scoopy sort of crane thing that just tears
into the walls around it. Bucket after bucket go into trucks, then to the plant
to be washed and separated and crushed on machines we do not play on – way over
there, see the dust behind the Barnes’ cornfield? It’s all really massive.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Wait, you
are going? </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Was it this
little rifle in my hand?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">No hard
feelings. I do need to go on ahead though, thanks for walking with me. Truth is
I would’ve had to ask you go soon anyway – sometimes the road is just for one.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">This is the
pit cleverly known locally as: “The Shootin’ Pit.” Anyone around here would know
exactly where you were talking about.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Right, the
BB gun. Well, that’s why I am here. It’s fun to shoot the little “bullet balls,”
the BBs, into the dirt walls and old paper targets and jumbled, colored glass
from bottles shot to pieces. The pump and pop of the gun echoes back sharply.<span> </span>Everything is sharp - the shards of glass,
the brass casings everywhere underfoot, the angle of the sun, even the vaguely
lingering taste of cordite, gunpowder, sweat and stone.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">I tire of
shooting the little gun, a nice Daisey Model 25 with a real wooden stock, a
Christmas gift I could not wait to get. I walk up and out of the back of the
pit and wander down a rutted trail, used now only occasionally by farmers and
dirt bikes. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">In the
branch of a tree hanging over the dirt road, I spy a female cardinal, grey and
red against the new green. I am imagining I am frontiersman – the book having
just been finished – and level that rifle, take aim, and…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">… I hit the
damn thing. It is sheer chance, BB guns are crazily inaccurate. The bird drops
to the dirt track with a soft, feathered whump. I run ahead, so mixed up and
surprised, briefly proud of my skill and then, when I get closer, I am
horrified at what I have done.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">It looks
like an Audubon illustration whose plates I’d seen in the trusty World Book
encyclopedias in the basement. A patch of the dappled sun shines on it,
spotlight like, and the detail is insane, three dimensional, quivering in its
realness. The sun rainbows and dances on the feathers and a little bead of an
eye looks toward nothing.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">I was just
goofin’, I think to myself, I never thought I’d hit it, I see no wound, but I
assume she’s lying on it. Blood, entrails. I know these things happen - I’ve
seen the rabbits skinned and deer dressed in the field; the familiar dog hit by
these infernal trucks; smashed possums and rotting raccoons; fileted fish
rinsed of scales and guts in a rushing stream - I know the cycle, I know the
unending circle. But… I’d never killed something.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;"><span> </span>I sit down beside it, my mind flies. I am so,
so sorry, I think to the little bird. Who was I to do this? This boy-pain
sweeps over me – I stopped a life. I feel ashamed both because I hit it and,
and… I know that the others would say ‘good shot’ and ‘it’s just a bird’ and,
worst, ‘don’t be such a sissy about it.’ My senses are firing. I feel the
cold-barrelled Model 25 and set it on the warm earth beside me. I taste a tear.
I smell the verdant Spring woods. I see that stupid, fateful bird.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">I hear the quick
“cheer, cheer, cheer; birdie, birdie, birdie” of another cardinal. I imagine a
nest of eggs, bluish brown, speckled. Abandoned. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">I begin to
sob. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">I barely
understand why this is so wildly emotional for me. I think of how alone I am. I
think of how difficult it seems, how impossible to understand, to explain. I am
the most upset I have ever been, and I am suddenly hit with the loneliest
thought a boy could have: I cannot tell anyone. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">I am so
upset, with no one to tell my upset to. I have a feeling this will happen often,
which upsets me more. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">And then, as
God is my witness, that bird trembled its wings, hopped up, shot me a dirty look,
chirped angrily and flew away - cursing me for all time to expect a perfect,
happy ending.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Later – days,
years, decades, scores, tomorrow… yesterday – another story enfolds.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">An older
dude. A lost set of keys. Phone forgotten. A red truck. A leather bag. Frantic,
panicked searching. No way to call. Inside the store. Outside, inside the
truck. Anxious and scared.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Tears.
Frustration. Shame. Fear, fear, fear. So, so upset.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">He is so
upset, with no one to tell his upset to.<span>
</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">Again. Always?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">The keys are
in the bottom of the leather bag tangled up in a loose inner seam, so they
didn’t come out when the bag was dumped. Another happy ending…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 107%;">One of these
memories triggered the other, I am not certain of the order, though.</span></span></p>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-29510327418112055812024-01-19T12:28:00.000-05:002024-01-19T12:28:23.225-05:00It Snowed Last Night<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"> </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I’d worked
all week on a story or two neatly interwoven with some clever interjections and
confused conjecture on time and/or space all concluding with a wise and hopeful
flourish. I was planning on touching it up a bit and publishing it and getting
on with my day, but something happened…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It snowed
last night.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">As I look
out upon it now a mountain of memory crumbles and stones and pebbles and
boulders, chips and chunks of the past come at me. Fast. Jumbled. Frightening.
Comforting.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">All at once.
In my imagined frailty I am afraid they will bury me.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I am afraid
because as I age the ranges of memory seem closer, more vivid. I see a pretty
girl with a giant snowflake on her eyelash, flushed in the wind and cold,
waiting for a kiss – a quick flash of memory which used to bring on a wistful
smile and rueful sigh now nearly leaves me on the floor as though downed by a
hard blow to my body. A sob, tears.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I could
continue telling you the memories of snow that assailed me this morning, and
that’s the thing I have come to notice - I am less able to curate my memories,
separate them, stack them here and there, hide some. Like today, along with all
the bucolic, romantic scenes of snows past, came another roomful. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">A silent
walk home past a cemetery, alone and so cold. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">A boy of
twelve and, concurrently, a grown man with adult boys both reading the Frost
poem marveling at the wisdom of it to learn and to share.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">That
haunting theme from Dr. Zhivago accompanying those long train rides through the
deep snow of the vast Russian heartland joins, in my mind, the hours watching
the streets of Queens fill up with snow. How?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The painful
wallop of an icy snowball upside the head on a cruel frozen schoolyard.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s as
though the tears that the wind and glare and ice and snow bring to our eyes are
really for these memories past and future.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I don’t know
what to do with this avalanche, I’ll never sort it out and get it put away just
so. Will these mountains keep falling around and upon me? Will every pebble from the past hurt so?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Is this
memory now?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Here’s a
link to <a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/42891/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening" target="_blank">the Frost Poem</a>.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTEff7DOduU" target="_blank">themefrom Dr. Zhivago</a> (a movie I’d see if I were you).</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/search/label/snow">this’ll</a>
link you to some snow stories on my back pages.</span></span></p>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-80086388482965694492024-01-12T12:05:00.000-05:002024-01-12T12:05:52.757-05:00Now, Then<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><pre><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"> </span></pre>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">In the
Burroughs of New York City, I am fairly certain the furniture is migratory. At
some point on the timeline of the late nineteen eighties, I lived in Queens, initially
in the Ditmars area and eventually settling in Astoria. You know, I never lived
in an empty apartment. I have no recollection of buying furniture, but I had
it, we all did.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It just sort
of wandered in or was already there or, more often than not, you found it on
the street, like, always, a lot… it’s weird but if you’ve lived there, you know
what I mean.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I often was
walking home from the train in the early hours of morning, after work and late-night
shenanigans, and one cold morning I passed a perfectly serviceable chair of the
type I think is called “wingback.” It was this dirty teal color with an almost
corduroy texture, it had one broken and dangly leg and three others that looked
serviceable – nothing a few bricks or a well-placed old saucepan couldn’t mitigate.
So, I gave it a deep sniff – a pretty common assessment tool in the city – and
decided to take it on home.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">(It's funny
when you start thinking about a specific event, even one you’d not thought of
in decades, and the details tumble back so easily.)</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I had, what,
five, blocks to get it to my second floor apartment. I was tired and, well, not
exactly sober. I sorta drug it along the sidewalk, noisily, at five, in the
morning, slowly and awkwardly and recklessly – I feared I’d break another leg
and there are only so many spare saucepans in the kitchen. So, I did the
obvious thing, I picked it up and heaved it on my head, my crown in the seat of
the chair. There’d been a miscalculation of sorts and I had the back of the
thing directly in my face, so, I bounced it around (the springs were good) and
situated it so I could negotiate the sidewalks and crossings to come. This
whole maneuver was accompanied by a rain of dust and detritus, tidbits from the
recesses of the seat which I’d liberated in turning it about – pennies and
nickels and the powdered tobacco of a hundred lost cigarettes, an old style
tack and one of those swirly pins you tack down upholstery with, a purple
Cricket lighter and two Bic pens – and I sneezed several times.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I got it to
the house, two locked doors, a stairway, and another locked door were somehow
executed. I woke up Noni* but she was sweet on me and agreed it was a good
find. I had a chair in my small living room that I moved to the bedroom and set
it right in that place of honor. I found the saucepan I already knew would work
as an ersatz leg. I had a giant-ass Hudson Bay style wool blanket, you know,
with the stripes, kinda tan, thick… I threw it over the chair longways and it
looked great. I remember I’d not really sat in it until I’d worked out all
these details and when I finally did, it was all I’d hoped for and imagined
when I saw it on that cold city sidewalk. It was perfect, welcoming, comforting
and warm and homey.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I would say
the loneliest I’ve ever been was in that chair.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s hard to
talk about loneliness. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s only
poorly and vaguely defined - here’s what wiki says: an unpleasant emotional
response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social
pain – a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek
social connections.<span> </span>Well, that’s clear…</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">So, so often
it’s presented as a bad thing, I feel it just isn’t that simple.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I sit down
here in my basement and play guitar and sing songs. No one is listening, often
no one even knows I am bending the air with soundwaves, no one. Sometimes I get
what you might call lonely down here. It seems sad, I guess, but there is more.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I sing a
song that an old friend loved to sing with me, I miss that person – who is
alive and well to further confuse things – I miss being together but, in that
lonely melancholy there is joy in the memory. How am I both lonely and happy at
the same time? Weirdly, sometimes when I am most lonely, I think back to other
times I was lonely and am comforted at such a protracted, over-arcing feeling of
continuity and connection. It is no place nor time to wallow, I am not doleful.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Yes,
comforted.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Last night I
sang that song, or another one, for that person or another or you. Who knows?
And I saw, somehow, a younger me in that chair, on that blanket, in that
apartment on that particular spot on the timeline. I see that he, I, am lonely
and I comfort him. I comfort him by saying it will, sometimes be like this, and
that’s alright.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I remember,
there in Queens, all those years ago, alone, without, sad, unnoticed,
unheralded<span> </span>being comforted by a thought
so far ahead and away and new and old. I recall, somehow, being made better -
being unaloned - by the me in the basement last night. To further add clarity,
just last night I remembered forward to the me to come, boys long gone, others
too, in some window looking out and telling the me then it’s all just right. (I
am no stranger at meeting the future and past’s me*, there’s just not very good
language to explain it.)</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Listen, I
know loneliness is a big problem – some of the research is staggeringly sad –
and I am hardly discounting it. It is often mentioned alongside depression and/or
anxiety. I know it is debilitating for some. I have been “… so lonely I could
cry” and wondered if I’d ever have another friend. I have been lonely with
others, invisible. I have been lonely with my family, during the pandemic
lockdown I thought I might suffocate from it. These cases, I think, are paired
with those other problems – depression, etc – where the loneliness is a symptom.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Loneliness
alone, if you will, is worth embracing. It can echo and sing back a new song. It
can be a comfort and comfort. It finds life in each breath and hope between
them. It is now and then, what will be and what was, sometimes in the wrong
order.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It has been
both my companion and my shadow.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">*I made a beautiful friend once in Queens, I called her <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2017/12/nonis-black-apron.html" target="_blank">Noni</a>. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">*I have met myself many times along my path, it's weird, but oddly comforting. I've written about that several times in the back pages here in a section called "<a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/search/label/nowthen" target="_blank">nowthen</a>".<br /></span></span></p>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-22121632095323035892024-01-05T09:07:00.003-05:002024-02-02T16:05:13.731-05:00A Number of Ones<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I’ve been
thinking of a number lately. No, it is not forty-two, but that would be an
excellent answer, I’m sure. I guess it’s rational, but it feels irrational –
neither known nor unknown. I’d say it’s fungible, but I am not really sure I
know what that word means. Maybe it is finite, that’s a thing, right? Or infinite
but infinity frightens me.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The number
is definitely place and time-specific and it is certainly wide-ranging. It can
seem arbitrary and perhaps is. When you bottom-line it – math reference – it is
a very personal number, but I suspect we don’t all have one.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The number
answers this question: how many people do you need in <i>your </i>audience?</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Mine may or
may not be thirteen.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Let me try to
explain what I am getting at here. Many folks I know – you perhaps – are
writers, musicians and singers, printmakers, painters, potters and poets,
dancers, directors, actors and chefs.<span> </span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Artists all.
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And,
although some may argue against this, all require an audience.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">When I was a
waifish, hopelessly sophomoric, perpetually high college, well, sophomore, a
group of us left our hip and happening, infamous partying university for a
smaller and hipper and partyingly superior small college here in Southwest
Ohio. I am not sure what brought us there now, other than the aforementioned
partying.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The college
town there was, and still is, a hippy enclave with little craft and book shops,
and glassblowers and, just off the street behind the weird little bakery, was a
blacksmiths workshop. Well, at eight in the morning, I was looking for coffee,
and, after procuring some sort of vegan mud, I wandered down that alley and his
sign said ‘open’ and I ding-a-linged in.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">(Just to
clear things up this is nineteen-hundred-and-eighty-one, and the town is Yellow
Springs, the college Antioch.)</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">He was a
bear, I was, frankly, bear fodder. But he looked kindly, and I asked what was
going on. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Now, to make
an already long story less long, he took a shine to me and me him and we hung
out for a few visits. He was a welder and artist who worked with iron mostly -
abstracts on a large scale - a hanger-on alum and one gruff and wise dude. He
also fashioned tools for fellow artists at his forge. Tongs and holders and
picker-uppers and bangers, hammerheads and auls and augers – honestly, I’ve not
the vocabulary to be more accurate.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I thought it
was vaguely interesting that he, an artist, made tools for other artists. When
I asked him about that, my brain, although imaginative, was hardly prepared for
his answer. He went on about the duty of the artist (I giggled at that) and
making things for the makers and much more heady stuff – he had a master’s
degree. Through it all, though, I did hear this:</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“Art is for
however many need it.”</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">He made art,
the hand tools, and gave them to a single person, an audience of one.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">He made
grand, rusty behemoths in public squares seen by many thousands as well.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">He said they
were both the same audience.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">In my
fiftyish years of playing guitar and singin’ songs, I have played for numbers
of crowds of varying numbers. A couple of friends in a college apartment, a
kitchen full of folksingers at a summer party, a beautiful wife, two soft and
tender little boys beside a campfire. I played to the endless stars, a moon,
and a Milky Way, to the desert wind and the city snow, alone? Maybe, probably
not.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I’ve played
Christmas carols for my dying father and I’ve sung at funerals, church services,
and weddings. I still feel special when I play for my mother and my brother and
his lovely wife.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I played one
night at an open mic, a very late slot, and the soundboard glitched and the
mics were screeching and the whole thing had to be shut down. I said I could do
without it all and sat at the edge of the stage and began to play and sing. A
pool of light from above shone on me and into the front few rows of tables
where the last of the crowd lingered. Midway through John Prine’s “Paradise” I
looked out and counted thirteen faces, it was positively Rockwellian, every
face different and warm and kind and patient… eager. Eager to hear me play. I
played five songs that night and it remains the best set I’ve ever played.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">When I think
about an audience and what that all means, I often think back to Bear the
Blacksmith, and I reckon I now understand what he was getting at – an audience
is built a member at a time.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The answer,
it seems, might simply be one. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It might be thirteen
ones or seventy-thousand ones.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">One.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">You.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">My sons, who
I am no longer writing about around here, have inspired me to start up the old
blog again. Some of you might remember them from many years of considering and watching
and sharing their stories and such in the back pages here. One son took on the
challenge of writing a poem a week last year and sharing them on Instagram. The
other has listened to an album a day for all of that same year and shares his
brief thoughts on them on Discord, is it? Both have decided to do it again this
year.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">So, I am
going to do an essay a week and publish that on Fridays for the rest of the
year… wish me luck.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Peace to you
all in this New Year, thanks for stopping by.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">(Nick’s
poems can be seen <a href="https://www.instagram.com/poemaweek2023/" target="_blank">here</a> and, well, I dunno where Z’s stuff ends up, I
think it's just for the youths...)<br /></span></span></p>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-59576663537084194352023-03-06T08:50:00.903-05:002023-03-14T15:18:08.096-04:00A Concert for Bill<p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I've written a few dozen songs over the course of my musical life, some good, some clever, some... not so much, you know? I recently got it into my head to perform some of them and post them on the innerwebs, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQiKiOVfSD4&t=13s" target="_blank">Part 1</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls7SIBP5Hy0&t=20s" target="_blank">Part 2</a>. I describe each song a bit in the video, but I thought it might be fun to go a little deeper here, where words go to, if not die, then to languish. (In all honesty, I am really pleased that Blogger has hosted this sight for almost twelve tears now, that's pretty cool.) The images are scans of the tabs I use for each song, some are very old.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>SIDE A</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>Dancin' Girl</i><br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>This first song is pretty straightforward - I saw a pretty girl walking down the street in front of our </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>off-campus</span></span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> college house Junior year, and I wrote a song about it. I make it sound as if I knew she loved to dance because of some sort of cosmic connection between us. No, I'd seen her in the Dance building a few times. For decades I called this song "Kari's Song" (yeah, clever) but, I'd lost the original song sheet and actually forgot her name and changed the song's title. I was later reminded of her name, but that's a story for another time.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgeGT9LXdilRB4z5y61Rg8vgVhFPzeEo3pwBFSXTXiACh0wQTK07Jb_Ft5JpM9oirRXuCSF5_rfCvBHgdDsmIYvhTsTJCtWDrV3QGEgt2e_A1-uKFQiw1lJt5ntxYXoBAJX_q_oeg7CXZR8mcKVE3IX-BREynQsw3TVWqHQQPVpr6sgXVTfXXGXzXoj" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgeGT9LXdilRB4z5y61Rg8vgVhFPzeEo3pwBFSXTXiACh0wQTK07Jb_Ft5JpM9oirRXuCSF5_rfCvBHgdDsmIYvhTsTJCtWDrV3QGEgt2e_A1-uKFQiw1lJt5ntxYXoBAJX_q_oeg7CXZR8mcKVE3IX-BREynQsw3TVWqHQQPVpr6sgXVTfXXGXzXoj=w494-h640" width="494" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>Tears in Texas</i> <br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I was living in New York City, Queens, in the nineteen-eighties and, back in those days, most everyone subscribed to magazines. I got several; Newsweek, Life, Psychology Today, Popular Mechanics, The Utne Reader of all things, and National Geographic. You might remember that the magazine came in a brown paper bag sort of covering. I pulled the newest issue out one day, and a young, good-lookin' cowboy was staring right at me, all macho and rodeo-ready, holding a pretty girl, both beaming. All the main title said was, "Austin!" The first thought I had was the opening line of this song.<br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjxlkAM5ehL8sqKPpVKIU0B1HlRLXgKz2PPTMl71h_YOc9QyUjc8_9burZGjavQAQJAos8FijnTW6wx1bDFN0Rh_g1YyeRa6JjBmdJ4jIpJ7zKIQHF_VeE9BY_93QxAGO7BkueG3c0kf4Xv1-oXLZML7giGhjA7dhQ4nlj-SkXjslph9EU2G98IBG84" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjxlkAM5ehL8sqKPpVKIU0B1HlRLXgKz2PPTMl71h_YOc9QyUjc8_9burZGjavQAQJAos8FijnTW6wx1bDFN0Rh_g1YyeRa6JjBmdJ4jIpJ7zKIQHF_VeE9BY_93QxAGO7BkueG3c0kf4Xv1-oXLZML7giGhjA7dhQ4nlj-SkXjslph9EU2G98IBG84=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /><i>This Old Cracked Guitar</i> <br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I could linger long on this one, a whole damn book, probably - stories of pear trees and wedding restrooms, ill-fated roses and sweet summer seas, an actual very cracked guitar, and tender naive love. I won't. Two things: this is the most important song I've ever written and... she said "yes!"</span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi4RjXMc9ukctC2qnPQ2MDHH6XNCOTPk3Uk_RJlrkPqDSNrDQX-Uf5GvDwULlcyFV7frfdt75GACUC5hSBeLtc3Mh0pVTIzMj0QHKcrF73JpZq6LUyCGtHgAJgxkVXgEpxdWT6KHSx3eICpIBOAtmo2GeFKaEf9-Tp8pcDGDLrJp2zpV_lmm-yFjd_r" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi4RjXMc9ukctC2qnPQ2MDHH6XNCOTPk3Uk_RJlrkPqDSNrDQX-Uf5GvDwULlcyFV7frfdt75GACUC5hSBeLtc3Mh0pVTIzMj0QHKcrF73JpZq6LUyCGtHgAJgxkVXgEpxdWT6KHSx3eICpIBOAtmo2GeFKaEf9-Tp8pcDGDLrJp2zpV_lmm-yFjd_r=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>What I Got (The Butt-Wigglin' Song)</i><br /><br />I don't know if I've ever admitted this before, but that previous song was not the original one I wrote to ask Marci to marry me. This was. Yeah, I quickly decided against it, it's a little rowdy, and the diamond ring thing didn't really work. But, I think it's a fun song. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>(Here's something I'd like you to know about why I am doing this. It's hard to admit, but... I, really - I just choked back one of those silly mid-sentence sobs we all get - anyway, I am not sure how much longer I will be able to play these songs. My hands are going fast, and some of them are sort of difficult, and when you can't play your own songs it's sorta sad. At least they'll be here.)</span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEht39H1gp0j1nQFW9jhr_hDI_lGIoVwn29xrNKtws4Pknzoo3M0wPb_0ZSMqfqLS2guqhzR2sB_C3HQ0nZDCX5x0Xp2_j8ZmCA3L6Hej4Iv44C-OEdwakSJj6XQso4PoL9OrJyZNnfaAbxnRqlyJvbOWSNxENJTPPlOixPM18d83fucqCJipnvJ8QiP" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEht39H1gp0j1nQFW9jhr_hDI_lGIoVwn29xrNKtws4Pknzoo3M0wPb_0ZSMqfqLS2guqhzR2sB_C3HQ0nZDCX5x0Xp2_j8ZmCA3L6Hej4Iv44C-OEdwakSJj6XQso4PoL9OrJyZNnfaAbxnRqlyJvbOWSNxENJTPPlOixPM18d83fucqCJipnvJ8QiP=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>Double Lines</i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I've sometimes wondered if this song was a little too show-offy and literary, what with its many references and general cleverness. In the past several weeks, as I've been working up these songs to do all this, I've just decided it's a pretty damn good song. I had the opportunity to drive a bit of the highway itself, west of Flagstaff, I believe. You could actually get off the road you were on, some interstate, and scooch over to what was actually "Old 66." I stopped off to the side and took a real look around. It was there I noticed those double yellow lines and the feel of the whole place - it seemed like you could feel all them souls passin' by. It is pretty special when giant, complex ideas get distilled to a piece of pavement and a dusty parade of ghosts.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtpFSIM79-qIfhzIUaSSQEcBVFg0-BcMZfbL_7SH4F_5ySBMb_3SNg6cXeJNF_CO1MwaKuZ96J0aw7cfDNmwl0dXnrVWKKIMFQ_DOEPoLQKUuZPN-zHpbn3aoLZJkk8qt5oFIvJFiSRqAyiV5AlaiUKQ1rUbxfBz6fp95OrjEMH-1E9N94DTkq0gCP" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtpFSIM79-qIfhzIUaSSQEcBVFg0-BcMZfbL_7SH4F_5ySBMb_3SNg6cXeJNF_CO1MwaKuZ96J0aw7cfDNmwl0dXnrVWKKIMFQ_DOEPoLQKUuZPN-zHpbn3aoLZJkk8qt5oFIvJFiSRqAyiV5AlaiUKQ1rUbxfBz6fp95OrjEMH-1E9N94DTkq0gCP=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>Snapshots</i> <br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>This one's sort of self-explanatory. I don't think all these images were in the same photo-book, but other than that, I believe I could find all these photos in the albums my mom made for us, Bob and Don and I, growing up, thanks, Mom.<br /><br /></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZGgVtjGUFtVE1DfsuPEFVMTPo4J32WKOcqAgdQZnxFx3QP3QCteRGRhQ3Z20FngWSFItWFIROGq9re27LF6x_I3_oQSSvIjX2WtnnqEPqRFUy5Jjmc1qXtaJq3OAR-aOYP1qtebE425TycKzIPdnNHYJCdV2QaGBWanzpCIP30zsbZTmLMAWF2Cek" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZGgVtjGUFtVE1DfsuPEFVMTPo4J32WKOcqAgdQZnxFx3QP3QCteRGRhQ3Z20FngWSFItWFIROGq9re27LF6x_I3_oQSSvIjX2WtnnqEPqRFUy5Jjmc1qXtaJq3OAR-aOYP1qtebE425TycKzIPdnNHYJCdV2QaGBWanzpCIP30zsbZTmLMAWF2Cek=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /><i>Missin' Mason</i> <br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>This is a song about my hometown. A bit of literary license has been utilized; everything is not true here. Except that... well, it <i>is</i> all true; the feeling behind every word is as true as rain. A couple of times, the accuracy of this song has been questioned - a little advice here for ya, don't do that. As you listen to a song, hear the notes, cipher out the words, ride the melody, be in the story, but never, never, question a song's truth.<br /></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhkvN2hxa9d-ipckqd75RGVxj4inyDo6SLCx7BGi7VB9553YrlV5zGvjIhQcB2n5qY69ekEji_HAqSGOOqe96UNwMJOYYFipfoFJhHs8M1sVP8eTYVZlvbfAf30UtG2ATKfp1d3s7n681G3PupXVjiA7e6vZl32GeJigGIzbmFjAyg2Y2nvZWK0fvNs" style="font-family: georgia; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhkvN2hxa9d-ipckqd75RGVxj4inyDo6SLCx7BGi7VB9553YrlV5zGvjIhQcB2n5qY69ekEji_HAqSGOOqe96UNwMJOYYFipfoFJhHs8M1sVP8eTYVZlvbfAf30UtG2ATKfp1d3s7n681G3PupXVjiA7e6vZl32GeJigGIzbmFjAyg2Y2nvZWK0fvNs=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></div><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /><br /></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> <i>Sing Out<br /></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I spent a great deal of my teenage years hunkered down in a basement bedroom on my unmade bed, learning songs. Actually, I still spend a great deal of my time now hunkered down at a basement work desk learning songs. I suppose the artists have changed but I guess I like it. This one is for Woody Guthrie, John Denver, Jim Croce and Bob Dylan. I think I wrote this in the late nineties. I didn't include Gordon Lightfoot, but the songs are already too long so I am sure that's why. I worked in references to many of the artist's songs here, which I find clever. Those names sure do take me back to a time that was so formative for me. "That's the boy I was," says the man I will become to hisself. Time is a big, damn mess of noodles and intersections - and a liar.</span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiKzioG0AZmmLi-1pdZzj18p-nI8MxISgBeRXtvqUPFAY3b4v1CefnePzGgE4A0zbXMEuoeJRLBaZiLE61YZ1XbeQMs_u3F7fWuPxu5TKA4DsYmNp3oi3iav1F1zK5zPZ7Bh1Ef8pNFsmtF7IcAjZSzM1Y0w_rzud9VWZTM0iKuAI3pY9elREusMQfm" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiKzioG0AZmmLi-1pdZzj18p-nI8MxISgBeRXtvqUPFAY3b4v1CefnePzGgE4A0zbXMEuoeJRLBaZiLE61YZ1XbeQMs_u3F7fWuPxu5TKA4DsYmNp3oi3iav1F1zK5zPZ7Bh1Ef8pNFsmtF7IcAjZSzM1Y0w_rzud9VWZTM0iKuAI3pY9elREusMQfm=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>The Rhythm of the Rain</i> <br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>This is the last song of the first part - side A if you will - of the video. It is also the first song I ever wrote. It's precocious and sappy, treacly, you know? But, but... I've been playing it now for awhile, after not even considering it for decades, and I've got to say it's pretty good. I really dig the droning sort of verse, those minors and all, then a happy full major chorus. It circles back and ends well. I wrote it in the summer of nineteen-hundred-and-seventy-nine on the same bed I learned the Dylan and Lightfoot and all, on the then new, not-yet-cracked guitar, a few months before I was off to college in Athens. In a way, I think it was a goodbye to, uh, maybe myself, there was certainly not a girl I was that enamored of at the time. I guess I was scared and thinking I'd once loved so much - fictionally, albeit - was comforting... I don't know where this tune came from - probably Gordon and Bob and Woody, Jim and John. An homage perhaps?</span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEinkpcRJsyaQ0RcdLIm2Vx2DCf-lOu5Q1mhV2xIJYjP9BztxsT3CzbOqDFNjILiYlWCWgbImN81gL4ULRT9j8H-LZ0XoTCaiWUsjzP74R4bNz_aR-tLR7bEayvnoeqGAZMQhdBS_jKnYdWOQOwty8uc_mt_uirlp3zCjdtAOZq-jU1dRQSgJ6fJZxOu" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEinkpcRJsyaQ0RcdLIm2Vx2DCf-lOu5Q1mhV2xIJYjP9BztxsT3CzbOqDFNjILiYlWCWgbImN81gL4ULRT9j8H-LZ0XoTCaiWUsjzP74R4bNz_aR-tLR7bEayvnoeqGAZMQhdBS_jKnYdWOQOwty8uc_mt_uirlp3zCjdtAOZq-jU1dRQSgJ6fJZxOu=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /><br />And, here - just to add a little verisimilitude - is the original copy I went to college with, in my songbook. Man, why does rememberin' hurt so much sometimes.</span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh_6EgN5XLpG39tgWb-el5o2AMe5Dd5ue6nJcL_e-SpWaLxVXVIybUgBpVoQMfi_PoP6YGgoG7My7hc7JDJHn1PNGaNJtcNM1GK4ugVrK212TESnzsD0QwLC92A98_GURM488U3XVAM6So7VvSedF0qFwfua2aFtwgr1AxFGZ8nrxDDh6jCrujxZ3H7" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh_6EgN5XLpG39tgWb-el5o2AMe5Dd5ue6nJcL_e-SpWaLxVXVIybUgBpVoQMfi_PoP6YGgoG7My7hc7JDJHn1PNGaNJtcNM1GK4ugVrK212TESnzsD0QwLC92A98_GURM488U3XVAM6So7VvSedF0qFwfua2aFtwgr1AxFGZ8nrxDDh6jCrujxZ3H7=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>SIDE B</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i><span>Where the Indians Danced</span></i></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span>I've spent a lot of time in my life outside, often in places where there aren't a lot of folks, and so often I have sensed the long shadows, heard the faded echoes, felt the joy of those who were there before me. I spent some time alone on the Mogollon Rim in northern Arizona, on two separate occasions, and never exactly felt alone. Here in Ohio, probably not ten miles away from where I am right now - perhaps in my backyard - serpentine earthworks remain from the early indigenous peoples here, often referred to as "The Moundbuilders." <br /></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiKq6eiawEUdiBQLuTbtlikyfp17LZjR_3NI8I-SQD_TDQAv4C17X8Z-5vGR30XT2MvsTbzm7RaB5F9qr0Rgha26eyxo7Ircj5POrqa0sYoym_VbLMkbO6-gj9ShG_JIPwyRDj-X3Y9J0jYAxqioIqH0QePgyWbV7kIik9xnSzfTxJassCokTN3WQlH" style="font-family: georgia; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiKq6eiawEUdiBQLuTbtlikyfp17LZjR_3NI8I-SQD_TDQAv4C17X8Z-5vGR30XT2MvsTbzm7RaB5F9qr0Rgha26eyxo7Ircj5POrqa0sYoym_VbLMkbO6-gj9ShG_JIPwyRDj-X3Y9J0jYAxqioIqH0QePgyWbV7kIik9xnSzfTxJassCokTN3WQlH=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></div><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span> <i>Down on Jimmy's Farm</i></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span>Another place that has that ancient, important vibe of pasts long gone is my friend's farm. He's a private guy so I won't dwell on him or how good and steadfast a friend he has been or his lovely family and all... it does seem I sorta called him out there in the title and I may as well have given global coordinates to his place in the song. Suffice to say, it's a damn nice place to sit and, well, sit. I've haven't been down there in years, I better do that soon.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span></span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiSMvsj5zJpGeLIEHAyIgAP4pCpWX5o8D9tyoLcLBz-YE34MHp3_CMvh8sqhmVU_LWyMPJCJpsZzRIVcFnS9LYZaXPl4IHrPHXOBOU1VXLPKoOU4Z8hlQQJaieDnaBmucWfUnh0RLCa_p06-cOFcYYyT75SPV6ucqThbOVHhw9ykOxspQDiwUzhuFq2" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiSMvsj5zJpGeLIEHAyIgAP4pCpWX5o8D9tyoLcLBz-YE34MHp3_CMvh8sqhmVU_LWyMPJCJpsZzRIVcFnS9LYZaXPl4IHrPHXOBOU1VXLPKoOU4Z8hlQQJaieDnaBmucWfUnh0RLCa_p06-cOFcYYyT75SPV6ucqThbOVHhw9ykOxspQDiwUzhuFq2=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><br /><br /></span></span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><i>In A Little Boy's Soul</i></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span>"Some days you know just how it goes, Some days you have no clue. Some days you write the song, Some days the song writes you." Guy Clark wrote that in a song, and he titled a whole album on that truth - Some Days the Song Writes You (2009). This one definitely wrote me. It's about the inherent hope and even happiness in longing and loneliness, a lifetime foe of mine. Also, again, time is a fucker, sometimes I can't find myself on my own damn timeline.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><i> </i></span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEixe9l9AvSMcWdqu5Np-YhVB9UHgOqJ5C8ezOEFF2KvQFoIiwZiC0-sdQ0_PLncLlE8KXF3zQGkAketZY_6OO9qzKjyOr64ZCk5k7M5vhealORN9HEG5bqeN4DfX9JICR1_vyOHXafzYVI_3Wfyk8cgo6L2_83f5UpaAi5CwlmKsEbUvlfTRC8SMb-W" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEixe9l9AvSMcWdqu5Np-YhVB9UHgOqJ5C8ezOEFF2KvQFoIiwZiC0-sdQ0_PLncLlE8KXF3zQGkAketZY_6OO9qzKjyOr64ZCk5k7M5vhealORN9HEG5bqeN4DfX9JICR1_vyOHXafzYVI_3Wfyk8cgo6L2_83f5UpaAi5CwlmKsEbUvlfTRC8SMb-W=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><br /><i>Ballad of Jane Doe</i></span></span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span>This song is based on a story I heard once at a conference in Cleveland. A women told this story and a few days earlier I'd seen the movie <b>Days of Wine and Roses</b> - a very rough watch about a couples' descent into alcoholism - and I remember thinking, "where were her days of wine and roses." The phrase comes originally from an 1896 poem called <b>Vitae Summa Brevis</b> by Ernest Dowson which is really quite lovely. I mentioned that it was written in a different tuning and on a big dreadnought guitar, but, I didn't mention that I wasn't sure I'd be able to pull this one off.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><br /></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span></span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-K2e2Il4NCjPSqta5xKj-kMpXznwIi3DRrQate1Z0i13VwrgnLGtyUcHhimwuVqJ6hP4L_y_OlH1mYoe0EGttzMFGuwnrg5pzYHIUsHMHHBWosX--qZ0l1C7cWJddAmwOAUSKMDobpyuJSBBsxlEjd-7G11K7QwC-MQXF3rtr9uWQ7EkLFG02F1dg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-K2e2Il4NCjPSqta5xKj-kMpXznwIi3DRrQate1Z0i13VwrgnLGtyUcHhimwuVqJ6hP4L_y_OlH1mYoe0EGttzMFGuwnrg5pzYHIUsHMHHBWosX--qZ0l1C7cWJddAmwOAUSKMDobpyuJSBBsxlEjd-7G11K7QwC-MQXF3rtr9uWQ7EkLFG02F1dg=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><br /><i>The Ballad of John and Paul</i></span></span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span>(The similarity between this tune and the previous tune is because they are indeed similar. They weren't originally what with the different tuning and all but, well, here we are.) Todd Snider a wonderful singer, songwriter, storyteller you should check out if you'd care to, always talks about his original tunes as songs he made up, like, "here's a song I made up about a beer-run." This song is like that, it just came out nearly whole one summer afternoon many years ago. I don't know who these cats are but they're as real as anyone I've ever known - sorta my Pancho and Lefty - with apologies to TVZ.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span></span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiX_rpQ_CHErwq0-ZPT9Iy7jmM0mFLmfy1dSVE4YZwVXVOKsV7JLLQAg755931pPZQWd3WzRpHhgibMqNXWUpO5Ll2XD361C1q6BUHPACMzNyBTLH3tz9GzRP3Ubdj4dY1_Mq6GNo5dcbDAw_jKEkSm_hdz-36My_HJ7OYkb-GNufN9qHNvCn4_XYgW" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiX_rpQ_CHErwq0-ZPT9Iy7jmM0mFLmfy1dSVE4YZwVXVOKsV7JLLQAg755931pPZQWd3WzRpHhgibMqNXWUpO5Ll2XD361C1q6BUHPACMzNyBTLH3tz9GzRP3Ubdj4dY1_Mq6GNo5dcbDAw_jKEkSm_hdz-36My_HJ7OYkb-GNufN9qHNvCn4_XYgW=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7sIvGLAWzQhfySWxIC9-fTLpECjiM-I9fZ13MjZeW7-Lz7zNnQ1D109kr2tw45gDN2uZpsRWB_V3orAiJ0iyHPTrIg7cQI-SG0eqC_KdqJssS3cb51zxA2oqWzxIheLei6v3Myq5BuhMpqp7jPGae7u4j_ZPfb_raeby4DbPBcF_IJRbe7QhNJEt" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7sIvGLAWzQhfySWxIC9-fTLpECjiM-I9fZ13MjZeW7-Lz7zNnQ1D109kr2tw45gDN2uZpsRWB_V3orAiJ0iyHPTrIg7cQI-SG0eqC_KdqJssS3cb51zxA2oqWzxIheLei6v3Myq5BuhMpqp7jPGae7u4j_ZPfb_raeby4DbPBcF_IJRbe7QhNJEt=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></div><br /><br /></span></span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><i>Whatshername's Song</i></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span>Do you remember the first song on Side A here, <i>Dancin' Girl</i>? I told you for a number of years I couldn't recall her name. About twenty years after I wrote that song, well, what happened in this song happened; we were reacquainted, remembered each others' names and a few other things. In case you're wondering, I ended up with the shirt.<i> </i><br /></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i><span></span></i></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYF0KbdJK00SgeyScI67KSqBetl080xDA4Tm1A3iKJFqzwOsqD5gA-SpQHCgwjRMurFbbj4HcSoVxFam1e4wML0WJGnwDKKlVq66J9dtPQH2se4dIYS2WfH0PGs4AFu7W6LA0N74bmV4aT46uBAOdW6icY9BZol4A8gmDU3O_3cw9bH5FC9ksOQu9I" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiYF0KbdJK00SgeyScI67KSqBetl080xDA4Tm1A3iKJFqzwOsqD5gA-SpQHCgwjRMurFbbj4HcSoVxFam1e4wML0WJGnwDKKlVq66J9dtPQH2se4dIYS2WfH0PGs4AFu7W6LA0N74bmV4aT46uBAOdW6icY9BZol4A8gmDU3O_3cw9bH5FC9ksOQu9I=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></i></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i><span>The Day is Done by Longfellow</span></i></span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>In the late nineties maybe I was binging on a lot of Romantic poetry and such - as one does - Wordsworth and Longfellow and Whitman and Keats and the like. I got it in my head to put one of the poems to music. This is the result. During the Days of Covid (now there's a song title), my good pal Spoon Phillips helped me with a version of it for Play Music on the Porch Day - a real thing - it's really a better version because of all his fiddle-dee-dees and pretty do-dads he adds over me rather utilitarian rendering of the song, Here's a link: <a href="https://youtu.be/qTMrjGNYnGw" target="_blank">now</a>. Ooh, this tab is in color... fancy.<br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEia5AWf5604HucOJHuEGKCcx8XhXQuCTRf1Jd90HsGx3aOdQhEwP_fKY0QajLJ296gv9xqtFhHTw4PzpWIwQzM7QjdXYN6mSKx5lf1aYNka0mVcfrAq3y5IlL5DpFwET3lq1gLKtjPX8yFmqLnZtIZnJ_YxmZGAfytoKCK3yaYKXPpvUUYYLBqGrUOe" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEia5AWf5604HucOJHuEGKCcx8XhXQuCTRf1Jd90HsGx3aOdQhEwP_fKY0QajLJ296gv9xqtFhHTw4PzpWIwQzM7QjdXYN6mSKx5lf1aYNka0mVcfrAq3y5IlL5DpFwET3lq1gLKtjPX8yFmqLnZtIZnJ_YxmZGAfytoKCK3yaYKXPpvUUYYLBqGrUOe=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /><i>The Nick and Zack Song</i></span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I guess I had to write this song. I was worried about being a Dad, getting it right and all. That's all I've got to say about it for now, I think I went on and on about it once in my blog but today<i>... </i>I guess it's, well, a little overwhelming somehow. There's a line that sort of summarizes my parenting:<i> </i>"I'm gonna teach you everything; how to sing and dance and love and live and pray." I am particularly glad I wrote this song, it's sorta hard to play though.<br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i> </i></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgGb19MxG1kq1LPuJL2zvrSzOIfyRSiArMrXJviRyF7v8rEFl8VAl3gkzhURhAdm8sXrUyJmHH76V9K8LWjh2xQ8SrehGQohN0-RzdDfV7KxuztDptGNaJswQ3u3DmxeEcTxCBojSaWf-Bx87ZmC457JDCDe5aA3_3h6roHRkgu7XKwO8G0Al5S_WFw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgGb19MxG1kq1LPuJL2zvrSzOIfyRSiArMrXJviRyF7v8rEFl8VAl3gkzhURhAdm8sXrUyJmHH76V9K8LWjh2xQ8SrehGQohN0-RzdDfV7KxuztDptGNaJswQ3u3DmxeEcTxCBojSaWf-Bx87ZmC457JDCDe5aA3_3h6roHRkgu7XKwO8G0Al5S_WFw=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /><i>Princes of Loveland</i></span></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>An old<i> </i>buddy of mine penned these lyrics and I set them to a tune and that's about all there is to it.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i> </i></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhA0aA0ay6Tw6UzsYEUIESSQf9ocg7i0W3dwitw8lpCGlqTsNB4YQbeZkIeWkAUSbzX44HnssiWrIJfVwIQEGNIetzQVulzg6T_JQwDowih_Cu-r-3pUXmRpQeBct0dW7HaUTugEcGMVm_EQTwo0HKVtucMC-_6ELEn3uGEcx-C8CFFOezN3zRuzVgD" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1700" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhA0aA0ay6Tw6UzsYEUIESSQf9ocg7i0W3dwitw8lpCGlqTsNB4YQbeZkIeWkAUSbzX44HnssiWrIJfVwIQEGNIetzQVulzg6T_JQwDowih_Cu-r-3pUXmRpQeBct0dW7HaUTugEcGMVm_EQTwo0HKVtucMC-_6ELEn3uGEcx-C8CFFOezN3zRuzVgD=w493-h640" width="493" /></a></span></span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br />That's a wrap, I guess. Thanks for sticking around, perhaps for listening in and all that. This took a lot of work and time but, I am very glad I did it.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>Peace to you all.<br /></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i> </i><br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i><span> </span></i><br /></span></span></p><p></p>Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-12750231589925664472021-08-17T12:31:00.007-04:002024-01-12T15:43:05.242-05:00Leather Journals and Weathered Campers<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>This piece was originally publish in <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/" target="_blank">City Dads Group</a> in July of last year. There is an added paragraph that was edited out (for good reason, it's weird) included at the conclusion. I just wanted this here in my blog-cum-journal because it means a lot to me and I want it with my other musings. </i><br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I am going through a long and sentimental (bordering on mawkish) ending of sorts that involves a 20-year-old Coleman pop-up camper.
</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>My wife and I bought it new just after we were married, well before
we had the twins, well before I ever dreamed that was on the horizon.
It’s old and worn now, ravaged by time and memory, many miles and many
backyard sleepovers. I am trying to figure what to do with it as it’s
barely roadworthy.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>We were so delightfully young and naive when we were purchasing it.
We spent weeks looking at floor plans, considering size and amenities,
finally deciding on a smaller sized one that could be towed by my
six-cylinder Chevy S-10. A smaller size would also made it a little
easier to back up and, truth be told — ‘cause I suck at backing a
trailer — could actually be hand pushed into a space when necessary. It
never really occurred to us that we might be camping with twin toddlers
or giant teenagers, so we based our needs on just us: no toilet and an
interior set up to accommodate two newlyweds and a guitar.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>The camper’s been <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/backyard-baseball-memories/">in the backyard</a> for sometime now. The boys like to hang out in it as the WiFi reaches that far. I’ve got to put it down before … well, I can’t.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>You see, at the same time we bought the camper, I purchased a very
nice leather-bound journal. I put it in a drawer inside the camper and
vowed to write a bit about every night we would spend in it. And I did.
The writing is not very good, few metaphors or deep insights, but the
years are covered, each trip dutifully noted. Through the pages, the
boys grow up, I age, the relationship with my wife deepens and a
continuity and connection is established. Over the years, it has held
the stories and hopes of a young family growing up together. Stories of
thunderstorms and frightened toddlers, scraped knees and sleepless
nights; hopes for the future in the young minds of 6-year-olds and my
own hopes for their lives moving forward.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><figure aria-describedby="caption-attachment-786954" class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_786954" style="width: 469px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><img alt="leather bound journal" class="wp-image-786954" height="309" src="https://citydadsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/peebles-journal.jpg" width="469" /></span></span><figcaption class="wp-caption-text" id="caption-attachment-786954"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i><b>“Through
the pages, the boys grow up, I age, the relationship with my wife
deepens and a continuity and connection is established. Over the years,
it has held the stories and hopes of a young family growing up
together.”</b> </i>(Photo: Bill Peebles)</span></span></figcaption></figure><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I am very glad I bought that journal. It sits to my left as I am writing this right now.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>I spent a couple of recent evenings in the old camper, looking
through what was in it when I came across the journal. I, of course,
knew it was in there, but with a curious urgency — fueled perhaps by the
beers — I put it with the pile of things to take into the house along
with a nice bag of ropes and twine and three fire-starter type lighters —
you know, the long ones.</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>Here’s the thing, the “ending” of that old camper is a new
“beginning” for that journal. It is done with its long present and now
can begin to show me my past: a past where I hoped for my boys’ future.
It is so strange how, as one writes in diaries and personal journals,
how prescient we can be. There’s an entry from 2011, written of an early
morning at a state park in central Ohio, where I say: “The boys are
getting along surprisingly well. They rarely fight or bicker and are
good friends, it seems. Who knows how long that’ll last, but I really
hope it does.”</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>How could I know then that, nine years later, they’d still be best friends?</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>Or, that at the time I was watching the beginnings of what I think will be a lifelong friendship?</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>How, perhaps, would I know that camping and close proximity and
bonding in the close quarters of that little camper would help that
along?</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>And how, perhaps I had helped it through sheer happenstance and in a
leather-bound journal I’d noted it and can now look back upon it?</span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>Recently, a fellow father and writer,
purchased a used camper and solicited advice from a social media group
we are in. I typed a long answer — advice on gear and the such — but I
deleted it. The real advice I had for him was too ethereal and came from
a place I’m at now, a place he’ll get to, a place he already is.
Camping, like so many other family adventures and hobbies, are about
memory making. Their worth can only be revealed later, but, at the time
you’re making them, you still somehow know that even if you don’t
realize it then.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>Anyway, we
all seem to be currently living lives that seem to simply be in the present.<span> </span>Asking ourselves to consider what is ahead,
or even close examination of what was just behind us is, if you’ll forgive me,
untimely.<span> </span>Literally, now, this now, is
not the time. But, for me, this journal seems to be both future and past, a
thing long gone, but ultimately to show its future self, uh… later?<span> </span>Now?</i></span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>
</i></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><i>Oh,
nevermind…</i></span></span></p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span>
</span></span><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span> </span></span></p>Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-69342700858594832492021-08-17T11:12:00.006-04:002024-01-12T15:43:44.431-05:00Abba<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>This post was originally published on City Dads Group in April of this year, I am reposting it here because, as an archive of my writings, I like to get most everything I've written in one place. The original Editor's note precedes it. <br /></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><i>Editor’s note: Pope Francis has proclaimed 2021 as “<a href="https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2020-12/pope-francis-proclaims-year-of-st-joseph.html">The Year of St. Joseph</a>.” Pope Francis describes Joseph – the father of Jesus and spouse of his mother, Mary, in the <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/explain-religions-of-world-to-children-mary-osborne/">Christian tradition</a>
– as “a beloved father, a tender and loving father, an obedient father,
an accepting father; a father who is creatively courageous, a working
father, a father in the shadows.” Contributor Bill Peebles wrote this
tribute.</i></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">A young man holds an infant in an oak rocking chair. The baby fusses
and cries, uncomfortable in its new surroundings, inundated with sights
and sounds so new and unfamiliar. The father soothes and smiles, his
rough hands stroke the dark hair and chubby cheeks and the baby calms
and begins to coo and eventually nods off. The room is dark, but a
simple lamp fills it full.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">The toddler, two-and-a-half, now laughs and chases a kitten across
the wooden floor of a dining room. The same father watches, a warm drink
in his hand, and encourages the little one to be gentle. He lifts the
kitten and teaches the little one to pet it with care. A morning glow
fills the room and speckles the orange and black calico with a light
that seems from within the kitten and kid.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">That toddler, a boy now, 7 and full of energy and boundless love
watches as the father makes his breakfast of bread and milk and sweet
honey. He dances in his pine chair in happy anticipation and sighs at
the taste of the honey and milk-soaked loaf. He knows he is safe even as
a storm blows up in the trees outside the home, unafraid even as the
room explodes in the flash of lightning close by.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">Ten now, the boy runs and chases and tags and tackles his friends as
they play outside the school. They rejoice in the temporary freedom,
away from the hard wooden desks and dusty classroom. Another boy falls
hard, and a sharp stone slashes his forehead, our boy runs towards him
pulling off his garment, unafraid of the blood and pain of it. He
comforts and tends the wound. The father watches, not proud but sure,
sure in the lessons learned and taught, from both to each other.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">An older boy, a young man perhaps, the rings of his years building up
around him, protecting, comes into his age. There are celebrations and
woodfires and wine and cheese and incantations. Some blood, perhaps, is
let. The time is upon him now to look to the future – outwards, forward
and in, always in. The father knows, though, the rough and wondrous way
ahead.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">A job — a workshop, a woodshed, a quarry, a brewery, a bakery, a
sanctuary – where is not important, but the boy is gone, his own man
know. But, he is also his father’s son and shall always be.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">The tenderness he shows others is in indeed his father’s.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">The grace he has seen is only illuminated through his father’s eyes.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">All that he finds sacred in the wood, and in the thorns and in the
sorrows; all that is sacred in the sky and lakes and clouds and smoke is
through the father.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">All that he finds holy, the very whole of it all, is the Father.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">After a time apart, both seconds and eons, they meet again.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">The boy, always a boy to the father, smiles and simply says:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">“<a href="https://www.dictionary.com/browse/abba">Abba</a>.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">The joyous father beams and whispers back, “My son …”</span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"> </span></p>Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-58201831773489954592020-05-20T19:16:00.002-04:002020-06-09T13:43:58.708-04:00A Sideman's Dream<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Do ya’ll know what a “sideman” is? I looked it up and I didn’t get a good feel for the word: “a supporting musician in a jazz band or rock group.” That’s really not enough, but I am sure I have layered my own connotations over this simple meaning, as one does.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">When I was in my early teens, I tried to learn some Jim Croce songs since he was in the fashion of the times. “Operator,” “I’ve Got a Name” and “Time in a Bottle” are just a few of the tunes I tried to mimic.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I got them down alright, but I never really mastered them. I just assumed I didn’t have the skills to do them.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">And then, in the late seventies, I saw Jim perform on a variety show with another guy. I was all, who’s that dude, and, as I watched, I came to understand he was doing the guitar heavy lifting and Jim was just strumming the rhythm. The realization came over my adolescent-addled mind like a storm, one of those, oh, ohhh, OH! moments. Yes, of course, I should have figured it out, but I hadn’t.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">He was a long-haired, lanky guy named Maurice T. "Maury" Muehleisen. In fact, here they are together in what I think is the very show I was watching a repeat of. He was killed in the same plane crash that killed Croce and others.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </span></span></span><img alt="Jim Croce" class="c-crop__img wp-post-image visible" data-src="https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-183425-144972709.jpg?resize=1800,1200&w=450" data-srcset="https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-183425-144972709.jpg?resize=1800,1200&w=450 450w, https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-183425-144972709.jpg?resize=1800,1200&w=600 600w, https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-183425-144972709.jpg?resize=1800,1200&w=900 900w, https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-183425-144972709.jpg?resize=1800,1200&w=1200 1200w" height="266" src="https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-183425-144972709.jpg?resize=1800,1200&w=450" width="400" /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">After the initial surprise, and, honestly, the shocking fact that I didn’t know this, I watched on. Besides the extraordinary fingering skills and the airy background vocals and the absolute calm he exuded, I could not help but notice how damned happy he looked, as though he couldn’t get over the fact that he was playing for a legend, as though </span><i style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">he</span></i><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> felt honored to be doing it. That stuck with me.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Forward now ahead to the last few years. I’ve taken a strong interest in the songs and legends of the inimitable Guy Clark. I guess you could say I studied him and his music. I read a wonderful authorized biography of him by Tamara Saviano called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LWY7UKI/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0" target="_blank">Without Getting Killed or Caught: The Life and Music of Guy Clark</a>.</span><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> I watched a bunch of videos, many from his later years, and one fellow kept coming up, <a href="https://www.verlonthompson.com/" target="_blank">Verlon Thompson</a>. I won’t go into the details of times and places; they aren’t necessary today.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">But what is important is how he felt about his job. Over and over again, he states that it was the great honor and joy of his life to be Guy’s sideman. You can tell he means it as well. He took Guy’s death awfully hard, as you can imagine. He also wrote this song, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLDoipIv4PQ" target="_blank">“Sideman’s Dream”</a> for Guy.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I did a lot of living between Maury and Verlon, but I’m not sure I was ever very far away from the idea of a sideman, a helper, a supporter, a “lifter” if you will.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I worked in restaurants for most of my life as a busboy, a waiter, and a bartender. I came early to the conclusion that my job was not about me, but to make others shine.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I never tried to upstage my guests, I always tried to make the whole experience about them. I cannot lie, this approach worked well, and I made a lot of money because of it. Others in the business, however, often were the star of their own show. Beautiful flirty waitresses, flamboyant gay waiters, Canadian dudes with “outrageous French accents”, stuffy sommeliers, overly enthusiastic hostesses and semi-celebrity chefs - they all fill the dining rooms of my memory, and I am sure their own styles worked well for them, but, it never felt genuine to me.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I spent most of my career in fine dining establishments most of which utilized a system of front- and back-waiters, especially for larger parties but often just on a regular night. In most cases, both could perform either role, but I preferred being a back-water. The front-waiter usually did all the talking and gave the “spiel” and took the order, though it helped if both remembered it, and basically ran the show.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">The back-waiter took care of all the little details. When a guest left the table, I folded his napkin and, upon their return placed back in their lap. I made sure the Missus had a fish fork and the Mister a steak knife. I kept the water and wine glasses full, removed the salad or soup course, helped serve the entrees and lifted the cloches, and kept the whole thing rolling so the front waiter could look as cool and effortless as possible.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I loved it. I was useful and helpful and had every opportunity to be kind. I enjoyed the elegance and grace of it all. It was very dignified.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">And there, I think, might be my point. There is dignity in every line of work that we all must recognize. I don’t want to list all the jobs that I think don’t get the dignity and appreciation they deserve - fabricate your own list - but I know everyone deserves my respect. Are there exceptions? I suppose so, maybe… not really.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">In all those years back-serving I often was asked by a guest why I wasn’t a front-man, their assumption being that there was a hierarchy and that I seemed pretty good at it all. I’d smile and deflect, saying it was a pleasure to work behind John, Heidi or Sebastian or whoever. I never felt it stick in my craw though. We split the tip evenly and the work sharing seemed fair, so I just felt we were so-workers, team-workers.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Which, it occurs to me, might be a better point. No role is in any way subservient if it’s agreed upon that the goal and outcome serve the mutual need.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I return to Maury and Verlon and so many other great sidemen I’ve noticed over the years. After the initial thrill of the front-man and the excitement of a favorite song, I find my eyes and ears drifting to the sideman. A great guitar lead or a soaring fiddle solo, the studied beat of the drummer, the bassist soft and slow, the pianist’s quick arpeggio - all seem to lift the front-man, raising him higher than their singular talents. This would be the outcome of serving the mutual need: To present the song as perfect as possible.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">One last, quick story and I’ll let you go.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I sometimes play and sing in a local bar called <a href="http://plainfolkcafe.com/" target="_blank">The Plain Folk Cafe</a> of a Thursday night, open mic night. Now, I could write a novel about what I’ve observed in the goings-on there, but what most strikes me is the level of decency everyone offers each other. And these are different folks, with different geographical and social backgrounds, “hillbillies and hippies” my friend Ron once said. But this is no place to start a novel…</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I know his name, but I haven’t asked him if I could use it (I didn't think Ron would mind), and, as a memoirist, I might not have all my facts correct or may have assumed things in my subjectivity that aren’t there. Anyway, he plays harmonica and is remarkably good. He sometimes sings and plays guitar but mostly he the house harmonica guy. Folks invite him up to play or he’ll play a bit as someone’s doing their set and they’ll ask him up. Which is what happened to me.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I was playing a tune, “Paradise” I remember, and I heard this plaintive call coming from close in the crowd, I saw him and motioned him up. He grabbed his harp case and hopped on up, playing the whole time, I might add. I’d really just started the song so after the second chorus I played a verse and chorus just on the guitar. A head bob to him and he understood instantly and took the melody on his harp. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">He soared. Adding more, in all honesty, than I would in the subsequent verses. He found that lonesome, lost sound that mirrored the mood and sad beauty in those haunting Prine words. I was a bit gobsmacked and I think he was, too, at me giving him such a long solo, I barely knew him at the time.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I finished that song and did a few more ending with a song I’d written called “In a Little Boy's Soul”. Mind you, he could never have heard this song before, guaranteed. One chorus and verse in, he was playing it like he’d know it all his life. He really lifted my song, made it shine brighter. I will be always indebted to him for that.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">We got off that stage and do you know what he said? “Thanks for letting me play with you. I truly enjoyed that.” And then he thanked me for giving him that lead and telling him what key the songs were in. He’d just transcended my set, made it better, you understand? He made it better. I thanked him, of course, and complimented his style and connectedness but he’d have none of it, genuinely humble.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">He started to the bar to get a fresh Yuengling and I thanked him one last time, and then he said something that still echoes, “It was my honor.”</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">So, I guess that’s my advice today. Sometimes, you’ll be a sideman, sometimes you won’t, (and sometimes you just won't be sure), but I have found the most satisfaction in being one. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I am a sideman to you boys. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I am a sideman to my dear wife, Marci. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I’ve been a sideman to friends and musicians, chefs and CEOs, infants and the infirmed, priests and roofers.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">And it has been, and shall forever be, </span><i style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">my honor</span></i><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Peace and thanks for stopping by, I know things are pretty tough the days, I appreciate your time.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">There's always more, isn't there? Years ago, over ten I'd say, Marci had this mouse pad made for me. It's Zack holding the water fountain on as Nick gets a drink, they later reversed roles.</span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTJM8-WefRRFwMO0PdSL0m3apQrT9yKCEYouqlkqVvQXuA2YtVdw-uV5-0s2o2akLzaYGmaKg4wpusadyJbCgYqeuTn2CS0mDwABaT-5PamXCZWVisXfmHZc_H2fuuMnS-2f5qqfIxuHg/s1600/IMG_20200520_190113378_TOP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTJM8-WefRRFwMO0PdSL0m3apQrT9yKCEYouqlkqVvQXuA2YtVdw-uV5-0s2o2akLzaYGmaKg4wpusadyJbCgYqeuTn2CS0mDwABaT-5PamXCZWVisXfmHZc_H2fuuMnS-2f5qqfIxuHg/s400/IMG_20200520_190113378_TOP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> It's nice to have a sideman, ain't it boys?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></span></span>
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Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-11311302007670611992020-05-20T12:10:00.001-04:002020-05-20T12:10:15.748-04:00Kind Being<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>This was originally published as <b><a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/be-nice-children-parents/" target="_blank">Be nice, Kids. Better Yet. Be the Things you want in Others</a> </b>on <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/" target="_blank">City Dads Group</a> in March of this year, just two months ago. It seems a bit trite and naive in retrospect, but, I liked it at the time</i>. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hey, my teenage sons — and friendly others — you might remember that
I’ve been offering advice to you — my boys, not the others — instead of <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/backyard-baseball-memories/">talking about what you’re up to</a> as I did for so many years. Honestly, I thought it would be easy to give advice and drop wisdom bombs. You know what? It ain’t.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Before I get started, though, let me tell you a quick story.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Since right around the time you boys were born, 15 or so years ago,
this same guy in the deli at our local grocery store has been slicing
our ham and salami and bagging up fried chicken for us. His name is
Neil, and he recently retired. I saw him the other day at a convenience
store where we were both getting coffee. When he recognized me, he
smiled and shook my hand warmly and said, “Hey, it’s Super Nice Guy!”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was a little take aback, but who doesn’t like a nickname — truth be
told, I always thought of him as Neil the Chicken Guy. I smiled and
told him I always appreciated what he did for us and mentioned that he
always gave me a couple of more pieces of chicken than I ordered. He
said he was glad to do it. Neil also said he thought I was the kindest
customer he had and that he enjoyed <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/baseball-life-interesting-stories-attention/">talking baseball with me</a> and <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/bittersweet-endings-parenting/">watching the boys grow up</a>. I made an impact on this guy just by being nice to him, which is sadly rare way to treat a retail employee.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just by being nice.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, I guess that’s my advice for you this time is: Be nice. Good
advice, right? Well, yes, I guess so. But, what does that even mean?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As parents, we say “be nice” all the time. I looked the word “nice”
up: pleasant: agreeable; satisfactory. Sort of a generic entry there,
don’tcha think?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be good. Be kind. Be safe. Be nice.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve been saying these things to you since before you could talk. So
much so, in fact, that it begins to mean nothing. I wonder if they even
mean anything to you anymore. We never define exactly what entails
“being nice” or any of the other words we so casually offer as you go
out the door. Perhaps, they’re only platitudes given up as much for
ourselves as for you, as though I’m covering my own ass by telling you
these things. You know, “I told him to be nice, officer. It’s out of my
hands now.”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I notice, however, that there is a consistency here in all those
trite directives I’ve been offering, but not where you’d expect it. It’s
that first word, “be.”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Man, that’s a complicated word. But, it is a verb and that helps. I understand verbs.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The word “love,” for instance, is both a verb and a noun. I’ve never
been able to pin it down as a noun. It’s one of those that is different
to every person and in every case. But, as a verb, it is more definite,
more actionable.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe that’s what we mean when we say “be nice” or any of the others.
The focus is not necessarily on the amorphous noun but on that little
word in front. I am asking you to become nice, occupy nice, live in
nice. And, you know what, I see you do it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve watched you be nice so many times over the years. A hand offered
to help a player up on the soccer pitch. An encouraging word given to a
scared friend or frustrated brother. An unsolicited hug for me or your
mother. I’ve witnessed you being respectful to your teachers. I’ve seen
you being kind to your grandparents. I’ve seen you be patient with
younger kids, watched you be safe on a playground.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The only way we can see these nouns like love and honor and respect
and integrity is when they are acted out in front of us. Listen, boys:
it’s easy to see the meanness and baseness and discourtesy of this world
we live in. Just turn on your phone or your television. It seems nearly
every show or movie depends on some unsavory elements to move forward —
some are just devoted to being mean or showing cruelty and disrespect.
And the news so often just shows us the bad.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, and I truly believe this, it is just as easy, if not easier, to see kindness and decency and niceties and so much more.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Integrity flies by in the cab of the firetruck as it screams by our
house from the station around the corner. Courage is made real in the
intent and decency of medical professionals. Honor is there in the
hearts of our teachers. Cashiers and servers, cops and clergy, roofers
and landscapers, “chicken guys,” will all respond in kind when offered
kindness. I’ve seen it over and over in my life. You will, too, you’ve
just got to look for it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you don’t mind, I’d like to revise my advice today. “Be nice” is too vague to be helpful. I’d say just “be” might be enough.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be nice, be kind, be helpful and courageous and wild and playful and
hopeful, just and right. Be love, be integrity, be honor and decency and
respect.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let them occupy you. Let them be in you, and I believe they are. I
believe they are in all of us. Be the things you want in others, be
toward them as you’d have them be to you.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just be.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Be yourselves.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <i>I just wanted to get this here.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Peace.</i></span></span>Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-84968266389099429422020-03-09T10:58:00.000-04:002020-03-09T11:01:29.137-04:00I Chose the "Ch****oast"<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">When I was thirteen or so my parents went out of town for the weekend. My then seventeen-year-old, senior in high school brother was tasked with looking after me, so, yeah, I went unsupervised. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">It was fall and he had a football game Friday night which I had attended and got a ride home afterward with friends. He was supposed to get me home. I didn’t see him again until late Saturday morning when he left and told me he’d see me whenever.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I, correctly, took that to mean the next day.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">When Mom left, she said we could have anything in the freezer, meaning TV dinners, which were very popular in those days. She, however, did not say specifically which freezer she meant. You see, there was also a big chest freezer in the basement full of frozen bread and vegetables, ice cream, curiously, milk and… meat.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I liked meat, a lot, then and still do. For some people it’s sweets, some like salty, some like fruits and vegetables, others can’t do without starch. I think folks are predisposed, like, biologically, to run on different fuels. </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I run on meat. </span></span>Also, I am not a scientist. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">So, here was the plan. I’d get some meat from the freezer and I’d grill it for my lunch. As I opened the lid that cold air rushed me and I swore I heard a little choral “hallelujah” as I looked down on all those white butcher packs full of meat, each marked - many smeared - with a grease pencil as to their content. Now, I was not so stupid as to take a “T-bone” or a “Strip,” Dad would not have liked that. There were plenty marked “Hambuger”(sic) but that’s not what I wanted. As I dug, I found “Round Steak,” a possibility, a giant “Roast” and, towards the very bottom, a “Ch*** *oast.” It was not too thick, a good size and has clearly been down there on the bottom for quite a while and would probably not be missed.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">So, I chose the “Choast.”</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Now, I have held in my hands a piece of marble that was less hard than this chunk of meat. In fact, I had to run it under hot water to get the paper off it was so thoroughly frozen to the surface of the meat. This, for reasons that I can’t quite grasp today, did not deter me, nor did the white freezer-burn around the edges. I chucked it onto a cookie sheet and went to start the Weber.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I’d watched my Dad start the grill many times, we had hamburgers most Saturday nights, and I knew how to get it started. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">He used a nifty chimney thing that you stuffed with newspaper at the bottom and filled the larger top part with the Kingsford and lit. In ten or so minutes the coals were going and you could dump them out and put the grill grate on. I accomplished this with little difficulties. The difficulties were yet to come…</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Salt, pepper, garlic and onion powder, just as Dad did with the burgers. The grill was hot, and I slid that meat from the sheet pan and on to that very hot grill with a mighty sizzle and a soft sorta “clunck” and looked forward to my steak in fifteen or twenty minutes, figuring it was just a big sirloin.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I gave it a few minutes and went to flip it with the big fork that dangled from the Weber. Needless to say, that meat was simply impenetrable. I gave up on the fork and grabbed the tongs that were next to them. The tongs were woefully under-designed for a two-and-a-half-pound hunk-o-beef and I quickly abandoned them.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">All that was left on the utensil hanger was the burger spatula that had a surface area about a thirty-secondth of the meat. I managed to get it under but kept getting it off balance and had to steady it with the tongs, but I did manage to get it flipped.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Nothing. It had grayed a bit and there were a few marks from the grate, but it didn’t look like any hamburger or steak I’d ever had. I gave the other side maybe ten minutes, performed the flip maneuver with a little more alacrity and again… nothing. Yeah, it was a little darker than the first side, a little less gray edging toward brown but, well, not right.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Young men are not quick to either see nor admit to the folly of their ways - that comes with time and experience - but, I think I began to see that I needed a better plan. Thankfully, it occurred to me that I needed to thaw the beef. Perhaps this was not the best time for this realization, especially since I knew meat needed to be thawed. My mom often left a pound of hamburger out to thaw in the morning for dinner later. I am still unclear why this occurred to me so late in the game that day, but, there it is.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">However, when it did occur to me, it </span><i style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">all </span></i><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">occurred to me. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Something changed. It was clear that a biological timer had gone off or, deeper perhaps, a genetic switch was tripped, and I saw unmistakably the battle I was into, my first, my trial by fire. The combination of the heat and smoke of the Kingsford, the aroma of the sear, and the Flintstone-like look of that slab stirred up in me a primitive and urgent lust for that piece of meat and conjured in my mind great heroism. I felt, perhaps, as an apprentice may feel as he enters a noble trade and knows that he will someday know the secrets that will make him wise.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I’ll do us all the honor of speeding up the narrative.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">You know that technique where you push all the coals to one side and the other side no longer sears, we call it “indirect heat” these days? Yeah, I didn’t think of that. I did remove the meat and the grill, and I pushed all the coals to the sides, in a big circle. I added some more Kingsford on top of the graying ones and put the grate and the meat back on.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Yes, I’d encircled the Choast and begun my siege. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I won’t dwell on the battle tactics I employed, but they did include an interesting technique to refuel my fire in which I slowly spun the grate and dropped individual briquettes through a small gap by the handles of the grate; an inspired Webelo moment that involved aluminum foil and an onion and a limp celery stalk and Pepsi; and a moment of sheer epiphany when I came to understand the air vent adjusters at the top and bottom.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">So, a wrapped and wrestled, roasted and broasted, fiddled and fucked with that meat for a full four or more hours. So long, in fact, that I had to have lunch waiting on my lunch - Lebanon bologna and mustard, thanks for asking. Finally, I decided to remove it from the foil to see what I had.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">It was gray…</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">However, as you might recall, I had been awakened to the Way of the Grill and I knew I needed to get some color on it. So, off the grill, remove the grate and pile all those coals, now just small glowing bits, but they made a nice pile in the center.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">As I stacked them with the wearing-out tongs I knocked most of the ash off them and, well, I could have smelted on them. Grate back on and quickly it is hot, hot, hot.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I slid the meat down with a satisfying sizzle. The Pepsi had reduced along with the juices and was a bit syrupy and clung to the outside of the chunk. It quickly smelled of caramel and barbeque and earth and Ohio. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I managed to flip it - it was starting to come apart a little - and when I did the angels sang. It was dark gold and brown and deep umber and there were perfect grill marks. It was Pinterest perfect decades before there was such a thing. I can see it right now…</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I quickly seared up the other side and plated it on an chipped oval platter, a platter my mother still has to this day. It was then that I realized I didn’t have anything to go with it. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I carried the finished product into the kitchen and decided to fry up some potatoes in bacon grease, a family favorite Nick makes these days. Now that took a while and, honestly, unbeknownst to me, gave that meat a chance to rest and cool a little.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Somewhere around six, I’d guess I sat down at the picnic table on the screened porch. Close enough to the Weber to feel the last of the heat from the coals which cut the evening chill nicely. Our porch was high on a hill and all around me the woods and fields in the distance glowed in that fall palette this part of the country utilizes so well. It was still and had been all day and the aroma from the hours-long grilling session hung sweetly in the high ceiling above me. Crickets and frogs were tuning up and birds tittered in the trees.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I looked down at the platter in front of me, this platter…</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq_-mDz3gTx7AHi4jqBECIVa4LcbKMFsFTQtq5TkWyYSN2q6z9lUpIEznQFjGOlLi_YnLy_j_2xU26SWsX7EGHyTG_wZyDP_f1ISFGAU8HLu-o8CLjr5xckRclNlV4i8BUIbIWABMLcF4/s1600/IMG_20200309_103546725_HDR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq_-mDz3gTx7AHi4jqBECIVa4LcbKMFsFTQtq5TkWyYSN2q6z9lUpIEznQFjGOlLi_YnLy_j_2xU26SWsX7EGHyTG_wZyDP_f1ISFGAU8HLu-o8CLjr5xckRclNlV4i8BUIbIWABMLcF4/s400/IMG_20200309_103546725_HDR.jpg" width="225" /></a></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">… and the rustic aroma of those golden, bacon-fried potatoes mingled with the faint tang of the burnt edges and the sweetness of that pop-caramelized chuck roast will forever hang in the smokehouse my memory.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">It was not quite fork-tender, I had a steak knife and sliced an edge off and popped that in my mouth and, well, you know what... I’m gonna let you imagine how good it was. Everything I could say about it is because I know food these days, not so much then.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I know, now, what techniques I used and why things happened the way they did. I know the Maillard effect and about how sugar and salt work and all that.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">But, back then, all I knew was that it was perfect, and I had </span><i style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">never even intended it</span></i><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">. I thought I was having steak but accidentally invented braised, grilled, glazed ch****oast.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">And that, dear boys, is my bit of advice today: a lot of times life works out much differently than you expected. And - comically, I think - it is often through blunders and wrong turns and desperate chances and tomfoolery and hairbrainage and dumbfuckery that we find ourselves in wonderful, odd and unforgettable moments.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">If there are axioms in life I think this might be one:</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">“You never know what’s coming or where you're going.”</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I hope this finds you someday, boys.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">And peace to those reading along now, or tomorrow or yesterday. It’s weird that when you write it’s like being in all tenses at the same time.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Thanks for stopping by.</span></span></span></div>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-89947999754639676442020-01-10T15:43:00.002-05:002020-01-10T15:44:03.807-05:00Coffee Cups and Mason Jars<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Hey, boys,
I think it's just us. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">So, I
figure it this way: Young men, such as yourselves, don't want their parents'
advice, especially from aged ones such as I; also, young men crave advice. Clearly, the answer here is to give you some
advice.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Right?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I'll start
simply. As you have no doubt noticed,
everyone is walking around with water bottles and travel mugs these days. It's cool, I get it, but, it hasn't always
been like this. In the sixties and
seventies, when I was young, nobody carried a cup of coffee around or had a
water bottle close by. Yes, of course,
people used canteens and such and there were buckets (literally buckets, with a
ladle) of water at practices. I remember
seeing a farmer, Mr. Barnes, sitting under the shade of that one tree that
always seemed to be in the middle of the field, and drinking water out of a
Mason jar. Folks used thermoses back in
those days as well, usually full of strong, black coffee from the percolator
and usually for a long car trip or a morning hunt or Spring planting.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I'll get
back to those in a minute, but first a quick story.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">***</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">We were
walking, so it must have been when I was a freshman and Don was a
sophomore. We'd finished football
practice - we were both on the Junior Varsity team - and, because we didn't
have a ride, had walked to his house only a half-mile or so away. He stopped to check on something in the
garage, so I planned to knock and go on in as I usually did. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">The
entrance that everyone used was off the back up a few steps and through a
screen door into the kitchen. I remember
stopping on the little landing and looking in.
Mrs. M. was sitting at the Formica and chrome kitchen table, white green
trimmed saucer in her hand sipping out of the matching cup. She took a few sips and nestled the cup back
into its little ring in the saucer but kept it in her hand, not setting it
down.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Her gaze
was towards the window above the big farm sink to my right. She seemed still, calm, wistful somehow. It may seem odd that I took the time to see
her so, but here's the thing - I don't think I'd ever seen the woman
sitting. She was a busy housewife; five
kids, mostly sporty boys, some grandparents lived there as well, as I recall. She hung her laundry and cooked and made
cookies and sandwiches and all that stuff.
I am only saying this to emphasize the fact that I don't think I'd even
ever seen her still.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Looking
back, I think that may be why I waited on that stoop, seeing her that way. I didn't want to interrupt her reverie. I heard Don coming my way, so I finally
pushed open the screen door and walked on in.
I didn't startle her as I'd been afraid I might, she just looked my way
and smiled in surprise that I wasn't her son.
She put down her cup and saucer after one last draining sip, she looked
one last time out that window into the fading Autumn afternoon.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">"Is
everything alright, Mrs. M.?"</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">"Oh
sure, Bill, I was just collecting my thoughts," she answered offhandedly.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Don burst
into the kitchen laughing with an old hound behind him - he was a big, loud
dude, Don, not the hound - and the dog's paws clicked and clacked on the
linoleum floor and the stillness was gone.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">She
quickly got up and put her cup and saucer into the deep sink and asked if we'd
like some sandwiches and set to work on them before we answered her.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">"Collecting
my thoughts."</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">***</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Thermoses
- you know, vacuum bottles, Thermos is a brand name - were lined with glass in
those days so we treated them with respect.
There was a lid on the inner bottle which screwed on tight but there was
also another lid which sort of half screwed half clicked onto the outer steel
shell. It was a cup. One did not just glug out of them, you
stopped what you were doing and carefully poured a few ounces into the lid and
had that. Sometimes, if you were in a
car, the passenger did that for you, but, more often than not, you'd stop
somewhere and have a cup or two, and collect your thoughts.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I can't
remember where we were going but we were in a big-ass station wagon, me
ensconced in the narrow storage well between the back seat and the
reverse-facing back-back seat - I liked it there. The windows were closed except for my Dad's
"cozy wing" (look it up), which he used to ash the cigarettes he
enjoyed while driving. Maybe we were
going to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving to see family friends, it occurs to
me. Dad lit a filtered Camel and asked
my Mom for the last of the coffee.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I'd say we
were well into the trip, my oldest brother, in front of me, was reading a cheap
paperback science fiction novel and my other older brother was flopping about
in the back-back seat trying to sleep.
I'd been watching the fields and barns and cows and power lines. My mom grabbed the worn gray Thermos bottle
off the long bench between them, clicked off the cup and unscrewed the
lid. She poured him a couple of sips,
nearly upending the nearly empty bottle, and I remember the steam coming off
the little stained stainless-steel cup.
The aroma of that dark black percolated Folgers mingled with the rich
earthy smell of the Camel and I recall feeling good, safe, content. My Mom asked Dad, as he passed back the cup
if he was alright.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">"I
was just thinking, I guess," he said with a smile I could not see but
somehow heard.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">It was the
same with Mr. Barnes in that field. Down
between his feet in a cardboard box, nestled into a wooden crate that was
somehow affixed to the tractor, was his daily stash of jars. They were in, of course, the box the jars had
originally come in with little dividers, twelve I'd guess, and they were
covered with a wet towel to keep them at least cool. Of course, a man can't wrastle a tractor and
a plow with one hand, so he had to stop and have his drink.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I was
watching him from my perch in a tree we played in as boys, he was probably a
football field away (a common measurement in the Midwest) and I couldn't really
see his face but, it occurs to me now, I'll bet it held the same expression
Mrs. M.'s had. I could tell he was
gazing into the distance; the field was plowed to where he was under that big
tree, and he was looking towards the beige stubble of the unplowed half. I'd guess, if one could have asked him what
he was doing, he'd've answered "Collectin' my thoughts."</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">So, my
advice isn't to not have a take-out coffee or drink from a water bottle, but,
occasionally at least, do something that slows you down. In a way, I think we all want to do it. It's there in that moment you forgot that you
were watching a baseball game on TV and are just staring at the pretty moving
picture. It's there when you wait in
your car, engine running, to listen to the end of an old favorite song or
symphony. It's there watching a child
sleep or a sun rise. I know you
recognize it in others, that wistful look on another's face. A "faraway smile" you could
say. You've most likely had to get
someone back from that place. I've had
to do it with you boys. I see Marci do
it - she'd usually smiling as she does, which is sweet.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I suppose,
in truth, what I am talking about here is "mindfulness." Yeah… no.
That makes it seem like a goal or a state of existence or a trance or
something you need direction with. As I
said, it is something we all do, this "thought collecting." What I am suggesting is simply to recognize
your soul in it, your self.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">If I were
a man of faith (which I am) I might make one final observation (which I
will). As I look back on these moments -
each serene, quiet, rich, even poignant - I sense something else. I wonder if perhaps I saw it then,
considering that I can so readily recall the details. I wonder if I haven't always sensed it…</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">A prayer perhaps?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Peace,
boys.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">And to you
kind reader, thanks for coming around.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-33444161900773050392020-01-02T11:44:00.002-05:002024-01-11T16:28:05.460-05:00Unlicensed<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>
</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>(Hi… yes,
yes it is awkward to begin an essay with a parenthetical aside but I’m going
to, hell, I might italicize it as well, being unlicensed and unregulated and all. I just wanted
to say that there are several links to previous posts in this one. <span> </span>Feel free to check them out if you care to.<span> </span>But, hey, maybe you could read all the way through this one
before you do, because, I’m pretty sure that if you jump elsewhere on your phone, I
probably won’t see you again.<span> </span>Thanks.)</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">They came
to take away my "dad blogger" license away back in September.<span> </span>A couple of guys sporting beards and
superhero tees knocked on my door.<span> </span>The
one with the bigger beard suggested that I knew why they'd come. I did.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I hadn't
done the obligatory back-to-school post yet.<span>
</span>I scrambled mightily to get one up on time the year before, but this
year… yeah, nothin'. Also, I haven't posted in a long while, which is usually
pretty forgivable but, months...?<span> </span>I've also made a
concerted effort to talk less directly about the boys, again, understandable, but, sort of off brand.<span> </span>And, I neglected to do a Father's Day piece,
which is, well, unheard-of.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was
informed that I can only wear my cargo shorts to do yardwork, which seems
reasonable and I'd already been doing that.<span>
</span>They wanted my "World's Greatest Dad" mug as well but decided
I could keep it when I told them it was in the back of the fridge full of bacon
grease (which in and of itself makes me the world's greatest dad).<span> </span>They also asked for the <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2011/12/cherish-is-word.html" target="_blank">decoder ring</a> I used
to translate the stuff the boys wrote and said </span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">early on</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> which didn't make sense.<span> </span>I told them I'd like to keep it because I've
actually got drawings and stories and such that I haven't yet figured out.<span> </span>They seemed cool about it.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There were
a few other caveats as well.<span> </span>In honor of
my nearly ten years of service to the community of dad bloggers, I am allowed
to post anything I want on <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/06/post-fathers-day-post.html" target="_blank">Father's Day</a> and the first day of school – no
questions asked.<span> </span>But, I mustn't post new
sentimental slop as I did for so many years at any other time, at least dad
slop, I guess.<span> </span>I can, and this surprised
me, <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/02/another-futures-perfect-post.html" target="_blank">repost old pieces</a> when I'd like.<span> </span>I
gather this is a result of the "throw-back Thursday" clause.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The one
thing that really had the whole system messed up was that the name of my blog
here is, and shall always remain, "ihopeiwinatoaster."<span> </span>I guess not having a reference to
"daddy" or "father" or "pop" or anything Star
Wars lets me keep using my same domain.<span>
</span>Usually, you are asked to archive your "Dad" period and, if
you wish to continue blogging - which no one in their right mind should - you
need to start afresh.<span> </span>Ha, I knew that
stupid handle was a good idea.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There was
a lot of mumbo-jumbo legalese. <span> </span>I had to
initial off on a few subjects I'd need to stay away from - <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/02/more-twindifferences.html" target="_blank">Lego</a> and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2019/02/on-groundhog-day-2002.html" target="_blank">tee-ball</a>
and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/03/bithday-post.html" target="_blank">doing laundry</a> and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/06/tough-summer-break.html" target="_blank">broken arms</a> and, let's see, uhm, <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/05/proudest-moments-post.html" target="_blank">homework</a> and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2018/09/on-maths-and-misspellings.html" target="_blank">math and misspellings</a>,
<a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/02/little-starfish.html" target="_blank">whimsical writings</a> and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-sentimental-archivist.html" target="_blank">inexplicable drawings</a> and, oddly <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2014/01/a-sowrd-and-wand.html" target="_blank">Harry Potter</a> – because,
apparently, it's the dad's with younger kids turn to write about the good
stuff.<span> </span>I can see all that, really, and
there's a really good cadre of fresh dads taking up the cause… God love
'em.<span> </span>I had to write a piece to say I
understood the terms of the dissolution and to say goodbye, see above.<span> </span>However, because of the domain name loophole,
I can just keep posting here.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Listen, I
actually think it's good that they stopped by and took the license, I may go
rogue every now and then and talk about the boys, but I think in principle the
gag order is valid.<span> </span>There is a sweetness
and a sentimentality in writing about babies, toddlers - just children in
general - that should be explored.<span> </span>I
certainly have read a great number of posts from men about their kids over the
years which have moved me to tears.<span> </span>And,
you know what, I hope that continues.<span>
</span>However, I'm not really the guy to do it anymore.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The
wickets get a bit stickier as children turn to adults or, in my case, boys grow
into men.<span> </span>The stakes are a little
higher, tales of <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-icing-of-disbelief.html" target="_blank">teddy bears</a> and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-icing-of-disbelief.html" target="_blank">movie scares</a> and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2015/10/inferenshial.html" target="_blank">misspellings</a> and <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2011/12/quirky-little-math-piece-or-move-over.html" target="_blank">odd math</a> no
longer seem appropriate, even, as I worked very hard to do, if they are told
tenderly and lovingly.<span> </span>It's no longer my
business (was it ever?) to tell you about them.<span>
</span>There are crushes and heartbreak and failures and successes and books
and fights and glories coming to learn from, and they will.<span> </span>But, those are now their stories to hold or
to share.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, I was
supposed to have this submitted to and approved by the Blog dudes by the end of last year, but, well...
I didn't.<span> </span>That's because I didn't want
them to see this last part.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You see,
I'm not done yet.<span> </span>I've got more to say,
a few more stories to tell, some advice to give.<span> </span>I've worked very hard to honor and respect N
and Z over the years I've been doing this and I think I can still do that.<span> </span>Not by sharing their awkward and embarrassing
teenage angst and pubescent bodily functions (which I see bloggers using more than I'd like
to), but by offering a little help to them as the years go forward.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I can
offer them a little more of me by sharing my past dreams and even my current
hopes, perhaps…</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There is
an undeniable arrogance in assuming your kids will want to know more about you
as they go on in their own lives.<span> </span>It's
embarrassing but, here's the thing, two things really - I'd give a lot to see
something like this from my own father and I've heard that from a lot of guys
over the years.<span> </span>Also, over and over
again folks say to me that the boys will treasure the posts I've done here over
the years.<span> </span>I've been proud to curate
their childhood, proud to have thought deeply about them, considered them, and
I've been so very proud that they are my sons.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are
a lot of folks I should thank from those years I was sorta in the scene… but I
won’t.<span> </span>I would hope they knew, know,
whatever.<span> </span>Some offered me much needed
technical support, others lifted me when I was falling, some were frank in
criticism, some just liked the words I lined up into weird rows.<span> </span>Trying to name them all would be irritatingly
long and probably ill-advised.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">However,
there is one individual I would like to call out: You, kind <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/10/it-just-is-i-guess.html" target="_blank">reader</a>.<span> </span>Yeah, you.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I
write, I don’t imagine a big audience or entertain the notion that there’s some
sort of “ihopeiwinatoaster Nation” out there.<span>
</span>No, I’m pretty much talking just to you on the porch watchin’ the trees
grow and the wind blow or in the kitchen waitin’ for the coffee to finish and the biscuits to bake.<span> </span>I’ve tried to keep it casual and soft here -
although, I have gotten my <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/09/hurt-feelings.html" target="_blank">britches in a bunch</a> a few times - and I intend to
keep it that way.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks for
stopping by, I know you are busy, I hope this maybe slowed you down a bit.<span> </span>Feel free to poke around in the basement
archives if you’d like, but that’s hard on the Blogger phone app… oh well.<span> </span>It’s a sad truth that blogging was meant to
be done on a computer monitor, not a tiny screen in your palm.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">God’s
peace to you kind reader.<span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Here's a picture of me in a blue workshirt. Not a picture of the boys. (Sorry, it was required... weird, I know.)</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIToi8h7Ojcgt7prmFEqanslFvdDtpVpCY5n7U9up8zwOPPiCH5oY5ue7qarKFjqOYHUDtoXsUbNvKL-D0YUTot2KInmU1SgWs-g2v2dJbPj8ExdGEZmuGzYsvDzWKp8S3fU6AFuHqt4k/s1600/IMG_20181225_075835215.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIToi8h7Ojcgt7prmFEqanslFvdDtpVpCY5n7U9up8zwOPPiCH5oY5ue7qarKFjqOYHUDtoXsUbNvKL-D0YUTot2KInmU1SgWs-g2v2dJbPj8ExdGEZmuGzYsvDzWKp8S3fU6AFuHqt4k/s400/IMG_20181225_075835215.jpg" width="223" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Cheers... </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-76042316346345390252019-10-28T07:48:00.001-04:002019-10-28T08:15:25.255-04:00Folding Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><i>This post was originally published on <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/parenting-long-goodbye/" target="_blank">City Dads Group</a> where they inexplicably welcome my meanderings. If it seems familiar, that's why, that or I already wrote something similar eight years ago... and yes, I could look into that, but, I don't want to. </i></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">***</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’ve heard parenting described as a
vocation where the goal is to work yourself out of a job. Seems pretty accurate
to me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">As a longtime stay-at-home-parent, I
see myself doing it all the time. In fact, as I write, the washing machine is
spinning noisily and the dryer is droning away, and I didn’t start either of
them. My 14-year-old twin sons are doing their laundry today, a job I did for
them for years. I showed them the ropes a few months ago and now, begrudgingly
and with a bit of prompting from me, they’ve been doing it on their own.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Late last week, I found one of them
riding the lawn mower, finishing the last part of our long backyard. The other
will do it this week. There’s a lot to learn about mowing and there is an
inherent danger in it, so I had been reluctant to show them how. But this year,
I figured they are both tall and strong enough to wrestle the old Cub Cadet around
the yard. I’ll show them how to do the trim work with the push mower in the
coming weeks.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">This morning, I woke up — later than
usual — to the smell of sausages and potatoes. I went into the kitchen to start
my coffee but I couldn’t tell if someone had made breakfast. The counters were
wiped, the dishes in the machine, even the frying pan was hanging clean and dry
on the rack. I thought maybe I hadn’t smelled right or something.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">I asked the boy on the Nintendo
Switch in the living room if he’d had breakfast. He had, and for the first
time, had cleaned everything up.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Perhaps some of you are thinking to
yourself: Damn straight, ‘bout time they pulled their weight around the old
homestead. Yeah, I get that, But, and I might be criticized for this, I didn’t
have children to do my work for me. An acquaintance of mine called me late one
night decades ago to tell me his toddler had gotten him a beer from the
refrigerator. He’d, uh, trained her, I guess, to do it and he thought it was a
hoot. I still know the daughter and she stopped getting his fucking beers when
she turned 12 — they were never close.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">There are, I’m sure, dozens of other
examples just like these of me working myself out of jobs. I’m OK with it, of
course, but there is another description of parenting that I’d like to share
with you: Parenting is just one long damn goodbye.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">I always thought of doing my boys’
laundry as something I was supposed to do for them not because of them. Did it
overwhelm me at times? Yes, but not often. Mostly, it was just another chore, a
part of my job, just labor. I’d set timers for when a load was done, I folded
on a custom-built folding table just beside the dryer, left-handed boy’s stuff
on the left, the other’s on the right. I’d stand and fold and pair and pile and
… think.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">I can’t begin to tell you how much
you can learn about your children from doing their laundry. You learn what they
favor, what pants and shirts, what socks are worn most often – that kind of
thing. But, there’s a bit more. All those loads of laundry gave me a sense of
how good life has been to them, to us. Jeans with holes and grass-stains,
mended and scrubbed, are a reminder that they are healthy, that the yard is
green and long enough to shag flies. A fruit-punch stained white shirt is from
a birthday party at the laser tag place. A blood stain on the collar of a gray
hoodie is from cut on the forehead from a killer tube ride at the lake. I
wasn’t folding clothes; I was folding memories.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">When they were really little, two
years old maybe, I’d take them for rides on the tractor without the mower
engaged. We’d laugh and curve around the yard, them marveling at the wildness
of it all, me at their delight in it. As they got older, I remember them
watching me mow and feeling like a mounted knight, a sweating hero for them in
the blistering August sun. In fact, there’s a picture of one of them, watching
me go around the yard, standing on the porch with a shoe in his hand, hoping
for a ride. A few years later, the fascination with it faded, but I still
remember their little faces watching me. It felt good.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Today, as I look upon backyard from
the dining room table, thinking about laundry and tractors, they are making
lunch for themselves. More a raiding party, really. They are heating leftovers
and adding this and that, improvising as one does in the kitchen. I watch and
listen and think back to a time when I made every meal for them, never really
imagining a day when I didn’t have to.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">One long damn goodbye.</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> Goodbye to the closeness I felt to them, handling all those
clothes, steeped in dirt and stains and memory.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">One long damn goodbye.</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> Goodbye to knowing I’m watched, appreciated, needed. To
feeling like a hero, a man, a father on my gas-powered steed.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">One long damn goodbye.</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> Farewell to cooking every meal, preparing every snack,
packing every lunch, buying every banana, pear and apple, roast and chop.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">You may be thinking, shouldn’t I be
glad to not have all that work to do.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOXMzkvUJZmu_usoYlcH6Edb75k-ITdR1Qslys5CyLKzsbVqt8QSy-HoFzjmjiiaQw5rz5rJbhGQm13cD5Ct1PvNT_gQyAohC64bMPrtUDopyXH4926tnh7g9HPMMKEfWvPdCMvOj_TrA/s1600/Buddies-walking-away.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="563" data-original-width="750" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOXMzkvUJZmu_usoYlcH6Edb75k-ITdR1Qslys5CyLKzsbVqt8QSy-HoFzjmjiiaQw5rz5rJbhGQm13cD5Ct1PvNT_gQyAohC64bMPrtUDopyXH4926tnh7g9HPMMKEfWvPdCMvOj_TrA/s400/Buddies-walking-away.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Maybe I should, but mostly I don't.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-57825087305549710542019-10-25T13:11:00.000-04:002020-01-03T14:17:49.784-05:00Happy Endings; Sad Endings<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">This
post was originally posted as <b><a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/bittersweet-endings-parenting/">Endings in
Parenting Story Often More Bittersweet, Sad Than Happy</a> </b>on City Dads
Group where I write a piece now and again. I post it here because I am
trying to get everything in one place, you know?</span></i></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">Do you
know <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shel_Silverstein">Shel Silverstein</a>?
It doesn’t matter much, a poet – any artist, really – is only showing you what
you already know. Does this line sound familiar? “Once there was a tree … and
she loved a boy.” Yes, <a href="http://www.shelsilverstein.com/books/book-title-giving-tree/"><i>The
Giving Tree</i></a>.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
I have a weird and long history with his work. I first encountered him in my
youth <a href="https://www.aol.com/article/2014/09/25/shel-silverstein-was-actually-a-playboy-columnist-for-over-40-ye/20967385/">in
the 1970s in <i>Playboy</i> magazine</a>, which, at the time I was reading for
the articles and interviews. Later, in college, in an acting seminar I was
taking, I helped develop – and later toured to elementary schools – a short
work based on his poems. At that time, I would have never guessed I’d be folded
up on a tiny chair, reading some of the same poems to my twin sons’ first-grade
class some 25 years later.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
Silverstein is sometimes called a children’s writer, but there is a lot of his
work that would prove the contrary. Even in the books and poems he wrote for
children there are nods and winks to the parents and caregivers. I remember
reading <i>The Giving Tree</i> once and choking back a sob at the deep joy and
sadness in so few and simple words, perhaps you have as well.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
I was reminded recently of his poem “Happy Ending” from his last book <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/09/shel-silverstein-comes-alive-in-a-new-book-12-years-after-his-death/245228/"><i>Every
Thing On It</i></a>, published posthumously:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
<br />
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">There are
no happy endings.<br />
Endings are the saddest part.<br />
So just give me a happy middle<br />
And a very happy start.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">I never
thought about beginnings and endings much as a younger man and hardly at all as
a boy. I suppose that may be because they often seemed simultaneous. Eighth
grade ends, high school begins; friends go, others move in to fill the spot;
this job gone, a new one comes along – nothing was ever final.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
I’m older now. I sense finality more. Endings are often poignant and
bittersweet. If you’re a parent you’ll recognize them – <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/backyard-baseball-memories/">last
ballgames</a>, last sippy cups, the final swim in the baby pool, the last time
they need your help on the sledding hill or on their bikes or getting dressed
or tying shoes … you know. I think that’s what Shel Silverstein means by no
happy endings — a story may end positively enough but that means the story is
over and stories, when finished, are sad. They fall into memory and retire —
quietly, softly — to our hearts when they’d much rather live on.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
As a parent, though, I was always thrilled about those starts. God, memories
just swamped me, as happens — the rolling over, the cruising, the toddling; all
the new and different foods; beach trips and diapers and more diapers and sand
and sunburns; the first teams, the first games, the first wins, the first
losses; the first strum on guitar strings, the first carefree dancing … why am
I crying?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
Our twin sons are nearly 14 and heading for high school next year. End, start.
Start, end. It’s tough to watch, this cycle. Although it is heartbreaking at
times, it also is where we witness great joy.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
We were in the basement playing ping-pong recently and as the boys hit back and
forth, I noticed our old Nerf basketball hoop was drooping, the duct tape
failing against the wooden shelf. I went to pull it down and hesitated – an
ending. For a brief while – brief for me, longer for them — many months, let’s
say, the boys played some version of a basketball game. They called it
“Get-the-ball-and-shoot.” You gotta like a game that’s rules are in its name.
They did it for hours. There was pushing and arguing. The rules were refined,
penalties assessed. They were 6, maybe 7 years old then. It was cute to listen
to though a little hard to watch because there was an inherent, well, wildness
to it.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
Anyway, as I stood, hand reaching up only a little, Zack said: “Don’t take it
down, Dad … yet.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
“Yeah, just leave it up for a while longer, it brings back good memories. Three
serves seven.” Nick said and served.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
Even they know endings are hard.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
Do you measure your kids each year or half year as we do? So did Shel
Silverstein. Do you mind if I share another? This is called “Wall Marks.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
<br />
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">Those
scratchy marks there on the wall,<br />
They show how short I used to be.<br />
They rise until they get this tall,<br />
And Mama keeps reminding me<br />
The way my dad would take his pen<br />
And as I stood there, stiff and straight,<br />
He’s put a ruler on my head<br />
And mark the spot and write the date.<br />
She says that it’s my history,<br />
But I don’t understand at all<br />
Just why she cries each time she sees<br />
Those scratchy marks there on the wall.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">Boy, he
knew, didn’t he?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
Excuse me, I’m going to go downstairs and make sure a Nerf basketball hoop and
net stay up for, well … forever.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
<br />
<i>Well, thanks for reading, or re-reading, I appreciate it.</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
<i>Peace. </i> </span></span></div>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-41650999174120942532019-06-07T12:32:00.000-04:002019-06-07T12:32:17.432-04:00The Hawk Thing<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>This piece was first presented on <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/" target="_blank">City Dads Group</a> a while back under the title: <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/parenting-hawks-metaphor-peebles/?fbclid=IwAR20pY355yFjCJY_6CeQWSsjgvhKzPvc6Y4dI78zjwNuGiHh86P3txhVRbs" target="_blank"><b>We Soar Like Hawks for Our Children</b></a>. You can see that post here. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A pair of hawks, probably Cooper’s hawks, command the sky over <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/backyard-baseball-memories/">my backyard</a>
and the surrounding acres. I spotted their nest high in an old oak
across the street. I’m sure they are a mating pair, although at first, I
thought maybe they were a hen teaching her fledgling to hunt. I
actually thought that until two minutes ago when I looked up the breed
and found out any hawks would only have eggs right now or, more likely,
an empty new nest.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, not a mother teaching a child to hunt or a father teaching a
child to soar like I wanted it to be. What I’ve been seeing is likely
courtship, nest building, pair bonding. I wanted to extend a metaphor
about teaching children to soar and take care of themselves; about the
joy of flying and learning and beauty. I had planned to beat that
metaphor to death.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I continue to watch them, the hawks, even though I can’t mold them
into the symbol I wanted them to become. They fly down again and land on
a low branch on a maple not 20 feet from my window. They stand close
together and … well. Their tails are red, one more than the other.
Dammit, they aren’t even Cooper’s hawks; they are the much more common
red-tailed hawk.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now I won’t be able to share this quote from a college <a href="http://www.middlebury.edu/academics/lib/libcollections/collections/special/commencement/2001">commencement speech Mr. Rogers gave</a> so many years ago:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><em>“In fact, from the time you were very little, you’ve
had people who have smiled you into smiling, people who have talked you
into talking, sung you into singing, loved you into loving.”</em></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’ll be hard to work in how those hawks made me think of this quote
as I saw one take off and then the other and watched them soar and swoop
in the cold February sky, thinking the whole time them parent and
child. The effort and the ease of it, the work and then the reward of it
all.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What better way to learn to circle through the sky than experiencing another doing it with you, showing it to you?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">How can I say, now that the metaphor has failed, that we are like
those beautiful hawks, we parents? I look to the wild and see labor of
love. Nature doesn’t tell herself about love and ability, she uses no
words, explains nothing, just as we cannot explain what love is, what a
song or a story or laughter is.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Smiled you into smiling,” a past tense verb leading to the present
tense. And there, I think, is the essence of it all. Love must be a
verb, teaching must be verb, parenting and mentoring, action verbs.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That means that we labor to show our children these things.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The first time I encountered the Rogers quote, I continued the thought in my mind.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I see my nearly 14-year-old son honor someone, I know that I honored him.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When his twin brother marches up to me after an event at the school
and says, “Dad, I broke my glasses,” I know his mother and I honested
him into the truth.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A kind word to a classmate, is the kind word offered to them.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We laughed them into laughing, held them into holding, dreamed them
into dreaming, cried them into crying, shined them into shining.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One of the hawks sends a shadow across the backyard. Maybe I wasn’t
as wrong as I thought I was. Perhaps, now that I know they are just a
pair of birds, what I noticed was the action of them, always above, on
the hunt, always watching.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I probably won’t see when their nestlings are hatched and fed and
ready to leave; the first fall from the nest; won’t see the wings open
and watch as the wind fills them as they glide away. But I see it now,
don’t I? I see it in the flaps and dives of these two birds, these
parents.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just as I see me, my wife, teachers, leaders, friends … you, mirrored
in the hearts and souls of my sons, your daughters, our children.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We’ve shown them into showing.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Graced them into grace.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hoped them into hope.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Flown them into flying.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Watched them into watching.</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>So, that's that. I try do everything I can to have what I've written out in the innerwebs all in one place.</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>As always, peace. If you ever wonder what I've been writing of late, well...</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>I am working on stuff, but, I'm finding it harder to hit the old "publish" button. More on that later.</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Thanks for stopping by.</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i> </span></span>Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-15389837614339066202019-03-05T10:28:00.001-05:002019-06-07T15:23:14.639-04:00It's Quittin' Time, Again<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">My soul
has been a bit sad lately, my heart a little achy.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Do I know
why?</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I think
it’s because I’m human.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I also
think it’s my smartphone…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I’ve never
typed that word before in my life.)</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I’m not
going to tell you why, you already know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You’re very likely reading this on one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s why I’m trying not to use long sentences or paragraphs, nobody
wants that on a teeny-tiny-ass screen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dammit, that was long…</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">You
already know how bombarded one can feel on social media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">You
already know the hollowness of comparing yourself to others in your circles.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">You also
know the emptiness that digital communication leaves in us, the ice between the
ones and zeros.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">You know
the isolation of the so-called connectivity - head down, shoulders in – lost in
absolutely nothing.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Listen,
maybe I shouldn’t assume you feel the same as I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure many of you use your phone with
great care and prudence.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">You know
what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t maintain this style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t continue on with these short
sentences and I love long paragraphs and I like to juxtapose them to short
ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a balance game writers like
to play, to visually move the reader’s eyes and encourage them to move
along in the narrative, an impossible tactic on a three by five screen.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">***</span></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">As all
boys do, I watched my father a lot growing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He whistled and I learned to whistle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He put his hands in his pockets, I still do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He crossed his right leg over his left, so
did I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, he smoked and so did I for
over thirty years.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I don’t
have many moving-picture-like memories, I tend more towards polaroids and
panoramic landscapes, Dutch still-lifes and a nude or two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the few I do have is a short scene of
my dad getting up from his chair in my childhood home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is dressed in a suit, a charcoal one, as
was the fashion in the late fifties and well into the sixties when this takes place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is slim and the suit fits him nicely, he
has a muted maroon bowtie on and brown loafers and belt.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">The light
is morning like, I’d guess we are headed for church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His chair has a footstool which he likes
close when he puts his feet up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
mother calls and he brings his knees up and gets his feet on his side of the
stool and pushes it out so he can stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His hands go to his knees, I can still see his turquoise and gold ring,
he makes the dad grunt and sort of rocks up still bent at the waist, he
straightens up slowly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think he
sees me watching him even though I feel close, close enough to smell his Old
Spice, black coffee and Camels.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">As he gathers
himself he absented-mindedly taps his hand on his left breast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hand, not satisfied, then reaches inside
the coat, first into his shirt pocket, then the inside pocket of the jacket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, both hands, in tandem, quickly shoot
into the outside pockets of the jacket – they worked back then – and then into
the front pockets of the slacks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These
jingle satisfactorily, but the dance goes on to the back pockets where they
linger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He looks silly, in fact, it all
seems silly.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Dad looks
perplexed, I am straight-up confused.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Finally,
he looks down and over at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He smiles
at me and cocks his head as he sees them out of the corner of his eye, a pack
of Camel’s and a white book of matches. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
face is pleased, relieved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He chuckles
at himself, as men do, and winks at me as he put them in the inside pocket of
his coat, pats them knowingly a couple of times, deftly buttons his coat with
one hand and walks towards the kitchen.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">End scene.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">***</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">More than
anything, what impressed my little eight- or nine-year-old self was his
satisfaction at finding them and, to some extent, the matching anxiety at not
having them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Years and years later, I
worked in a restaurant where, as a bartender, I wore a suit and tie every
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I probably did that cigarette dance
a dozen times a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I caught myself at
it one time in the mirror behind the scotch and bourbon and saw my father, I
gave myself the same wink he had given me that Sunday morning past.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Why, I
wonder, am I bringing this up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because,
I see this same dance these days, but now it’s for a phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just last week at the grocery store I saw a
lady do the extended version of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
she stood just outside her car, door still open, with growing anxiety she
checked all her pockets and rifled somewhat madly through her purse, finally
ducking back into the car and coming back up with that satisfied, relieved look,
and… a phone clutched triumphantly in her hand.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I watched
smokers for years as a bartender and waiter, back in the days of smoking
sections and lounges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve watched, as,
mid conversation a hand reaches for a pack and, with seemingly no concentration
or effort a smoke was acquired and lit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The same way I see folks so absentmindedly reach for their smartphones
these days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve seen the agitation of a
guy out of cigarettes concerned about when he’ll get another mirrored in the
look of someone whose phone is out of power or, worse, not connected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve watched as one person at my bar lit a
cigarette and the whole bar lighting up at the scent of the first just as I’ve
seen one person check their phone and watched as those around them looked at
theirs.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I read an
article I can’t find right now that said something to the affect that in
fifteen or twenty years we’ll all be wondering what the hell we were thinking
giving iPhones and androids to children, just as we wonder now what society was
thinking when we let – encouraged, really - young men and women begin smoking
in their teens.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I know you
may be thinking that this analogy is a little dire and, seeing it here in black
and white, I’d tend to agree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I
know what addiction feels like, I know its ups and downs, its desire and relief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know the dopamine rush as well as the physical
anticipation of that next hit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
how good the ritual of an addiction feels, how true and real the desire for a
thing can be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">And, as
God is my witness, my smartphone feeds that cycle today just as surely as those
Marlboros did for all those years.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I don’t
like it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s weird is, truth be told,
I liked smoking and damn near every cigarette was enjoyable, honest.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Not with
my smartphone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It mostly just pisses me
off and disappoints me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The news is so
dire, so ugly mean and intense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much
so that, for me, even a decent, happy story, a “feel-good” story I think they
call them, can taste saccharine, treacly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Facebook consistently disappoints me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In the early years I really enjoyed it, but now so few friends even post
anything, it seems a bit pointless.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">There’s one
more thing I’d like to say:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>I am not on
this earth to be advertised to…</i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Well, that’s
not a very good sentence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Listen, that
smartphone is specifically designed and coded and programmed to advertise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Sponsored” posts on FB, ads in every video,
Amazon notifications out of the blue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ads on the games we play, the blogs we read, the podcasts and vlogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t go on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Damn, I
completely forgot you were reading this on your phone.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I’ll let
you go.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I’m gonna
turn my Facebook off later tonight, Fat Tuesday.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I will set
my phone down where the house phone used to be - it's a pretty spot - and turn up the ringer and hope for
the best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It'll be right here, on top of that wooden box, nestled under the shamrock which I noticed has two hidden blooms:</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKFnzUnjdWbdJgrDw2ZgU7LIogbY-oqEFH5UwhDggaXLVmsA5OwHeFHBtVF1FMuDh274_kas1WUPhO2cncxgaowbqFikuQMokd9Udjo-3_wN8nv_gAJZaGEltjG4Ojqv0p4mgCLTR_NSg/s1600/IMG_20190305_100942.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="993" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKFnzUnjdWbdJgrDw2ZgU7LIogbY-oqEFH5UwhDggaXLVmsA5OwHeFHBtVF1FMuDh274_kas1WUPhO2cncxgaowbqFikuQMokd9Udjo-3_wN8nv_gAJZaGEltjG4Ojqv0p4mgCLTR_NSg/s320/IMG_20190305_100942.jpg" width="198" /></a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">You see, I still need a communication
device, I like texting and I need to get phone calls.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">That’s the
insidiousness of the whole thing, something you need, something useful, paired
with this lame entertainment device that just wants to separate us from our
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s fucked up.</span></span></span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">(My
apologies again to those using great care and prudence with their phones, and those
few who still read things on their computer.)</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I plan to
keep writing here, but I won’t be able to promote them by posting on FB, so ya’ll
won’t know it’s here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, well…</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Keep in
mind these are just my observations, my responses, my feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One cannot qualify every statement and
sentence with an “IMHO” or “for me” or “I can’t speak for you, but…” in a bit
of writing, it becomes tedious.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I’ll
probably return to FB after Easter, but, I hope to get rid of this phone for good.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">It sorta
burns my hand…</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Peace. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Look me up sometime if you think of me.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I’ll be here.</span></span></span></div>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-66649372230568436212019-02-01T14:57:00.004-05:002024-02-01T15:53:49.175-05:00On Groundhog Day, 2002<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">A select few hurt my heart a little but, overall, it
has been relatively easy to write the pieces I’ve done here over the past eight
years – four-hundred-and-eight-eight of them. Earlier on I was so blinded
by and enamored of the boys that, honestly, if there hadn’t been the time
restraints, it’d be in the thousands.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">As the boys got older, I attempted to transition away
from talking about them, I started talking about myself. It is both easy
and hard, liberating and confining, joyful and miserable, to talk about
oneself. I’ve taken to it alright, though, with the exception of how to
present the other players in my past. I’ve tried to skirt the issue – you
know, the old “the names have been changed…” thing – but anyone I’ve
represented in these tales would immediately recognize themselves in my
words. This has made some stories impossible to tell, some of which I’d
very much like to share.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">You may wonder, as you often do, what I am getting at.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I’d like to tell you a little bit about my wife,
Marci. I’m in a weird situation here, the vast majority of the folks that
read this know her, so, I don’t really need to give her curriculum vitae.
I don’t really feel like it’s my business to share her business, so, there’s no
need to tell you all what she does, short of that what she does is in service
to others.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">She’s a wonderful wife and mother. She’s my best
friend and confidant. She’s funny and cute and usually pretty
happy. She is kind and understanding and clever and…</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Listen, I could tell you about this Christmas, about
how the Nintendo Switch the boys got glitched out and “error code” died.
She got on her phone and laptop and dealt with it for hours. In less than
two days a new one arrived and the old one was gone. I would have just
gone ballistic on someone and we’d still be waiting for resolution.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I could tell you about how just this week the boys
needed to work a rough plan for classes and “paths” and requisites, both pre
and co, and such for high school next year. She patiently sat down with
each of them and figured it out. She went to the parent orientation, met
their counselor (no doubt a new friend, she’s good like that), quickly
understood the whole process, all of that, and then patiently sat down with each
of them and figured it out. I found it all overwhelming and, frankly,
I’d’ve sucked at helping them, that’s the truth.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I could tell you how easily she makes friends, how
she’s good friends with the ex-wife of an old college friend of mine <i>and</i>
the current spouse of another, and they get together more than I see my old
pals. People are drawn to her. People care deeply for her.
She shines. Me, not so much.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I could go on with these “I coulds” but I won’t.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">What I will say is this, she’s made me a better
person. Fact.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I am kinder because of her.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I am more joyful because of her.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I am stronger in my Faith because of her.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I am more content than I have ever been because of
her.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">My love has never run so deep.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Because of her I have a family and a home and a dinner
table and good shoes and self-worth and… sons – things I never knew I wanted or
were even possible for me. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Dreams I never knew to dream have come true.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">She’s given me so much and I’ve no idea how to thank
her for it all.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">There’s a song from a band called Sister Hazel, the
chorus is:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“It's hard to say what it is I see in you<br />
Wonder if I'll always be with you<br />
But words can't say, </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And I can't do<br />
Enough to prove,<br />
It's all for you.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It might seem trite, cliché even, but it’s true.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Can I be honest with you? Over the years I’ve
read a lot of bloggers and the like who seem to, well, bitch a lot about how
hard being a parent, especially a stay-at-home-parent, can be. Mostly
they complain about the labor of washing and cleaning and cooking and such, but
they also whine about how emotionally difficult it can be. I’ve never
felt that way, in fact I’m always surprised at, and, even found offensive, some
of these notions.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I’m not saying it <i>isn’t </i>hard, ‘cause it really
is, or that it’s not emotionally draining, because, well… kids. But, to
resent that seems counter-indicated at best, but, mostly, it just seems sad.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I don’t hate every load of laundry I do, every floor I
sweep, every meal I prepare. I don’t sit and seethe on the tractor as I
mow the lawn on a hot summer day. I don’t wait fuming in the school
parking lot waiting for play practice to let out. I don’t mind the
snow-shoveling or the weeding or the wood-splitting.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I never cussed at the dirty diapers, or projectile
vomiting. I never hated the messes. Never rued the long trips in
car seats or the hot afternoon t-ball games.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I won’t hate waiting up late for them to get home as
they get older. I will not be afraid to teach them to drive in just a
couple of years. I won’t question their decisions – if made wisely – or try to
change them. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Do I, did I, will I find these things hard? Of
course, yes, labor and hard emotional effort suck sometimes. But, I knew
I was better for doing them, in fact, I know it's the least I can do for what
I've received.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">But, more than anything, I love what I have been given
the opportunity to do.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It is because of Marci that I have this chance - this
chance to be of service, to help, to teach, to love, to preach, to be a good
man.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“It’s all for you,” sweetheart, you’re the best
one. I cannot underemphasize that.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">On February second, two-thousand-and-two we were
married at Bellarmine Chapel on the campus of Xavier University.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">02-02-02.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
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Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
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<![endif]--><span><span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Seventeen years.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><span><span><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeV4v9nMLhIjUMw95jqnem3-wxsG2VQvwX5tRpcjg-TTzaD1OVnH8UIUmFOUU0lBqOShRrNFtbeByQP47LUtZjz3Vdgr5346iE_yTcBi3SwUPHZ-AsvA9HowfeOcQXz59I9nXy8gVgR2s/s1600/IMG_20190201_124609.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeV4v9nMLhIjUMw95jqnem3-wxsG2VQvwX5tRpcjg-TTzaD1OVnH8UIUmFOUU0lBqOShRrNFtbeByQP47LUtZjz3Vdgr5346iE_yTcBi3SwUPHZ-AsvA9HowfeOcQXz59I9nXy8gVgR2s/s320/IMG_20190201_124609.jpg" width="180" /></a></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">And, yes, the second of February is indeed Groundhog
Day, thanks for asking. (There was a groundhog groom's cake. True
story.)</span></span></div>
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</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Thanks for coming around today. Try to remember
the honor and joy at serving others and at being served.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I hope it's not seemed to corny, but, love goes that
way sometimes, don't it? </span></span></div>
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</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Peace.</span></span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
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<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I love you, Miss Marci...<span> </span>thanks for saying yes.</span></span></div>
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Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-14823871316633625832019-01-02T12:25:00.001-05:002019-10-25T12:52:11.573-04:00On Solicited Advice<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I try not to give advice. I
could, mind you, and I do when it seems like it might help. But, giving unsolicited advice is basically
“mansplaining” – which I loathe – mixed with high self-regard – which I also
disdain. It’s like “I’m going to detail
my opinion, which you don’t want to hear in the first place.” I don’t really take advice well either, I
mean, I take it when it is good but, speaking of high self-regard, I probably
came to the same conclusion already.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, uh, I’m… well, I’m gonna offer some advice today. You already know all the big advice, the
general things - make sure kids get enough sleep, feed them a relatively
healthy diet but do not fret if they won’t eat, keep on a schedule, read to
them often and early, wait as long as you possibly can to introduce electronic
devices, you know them – but, I like specific things, details.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For instance, you know all that stuff kids bring home, especially in the
early years, well, you can’t keep it all – <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/search/label/take-home%20folder" target="_blank">I’ve tried</a> – it’ll all soon crumble
and turn to dust. However, my advice is
to take that smartphone, the one in your hand right now, and take a picture of
it, or scan it if it’s not chalk and leaves and sticks. If you are new to this blog, that’s what I
did initially here and… I’m really glad
I did.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We still do it, just the other night we were at the middle school play
and Marci to a quick snap of their little “bios” in the program:</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrk2weZIRxvn1bnZXrT6IUBvhVfLi44rYGOgb7uNbFkY6Xn0JZ1RXrbF83kNMK6nICxuBdKasEy9j3TFFV4x3BSMZy2PnO_RNh-Lt-QtvjPy2VlIBN28vtcOJAkf9xKRW26Z8lC8GCni0/s1600/IMG_20190102_113103.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="897" data-original-width="1600" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrk2weZIRxvn1bnZXrT6IUBvhVfLi44rYGOgb7uNbFkY6Xn0JZ1RXrbF83kNMK6nICxuBdKasEy9j3TFFV4x3BSMZy2PnO_RNh-Lt-QtvjPy2VlIBN28vtcOJAkf9xKRW26Z8lC8GCni0/s320/IMG_20190102_113103.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yeah, I know, they are pretty sweet kids.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Also, once in a while, print some pictures and put them in a photobook. I treasure the ones my mother so lovingly
made, I think the boys will love theirs as well.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It seems I could go on giving advice.
Huh, maybe I do give it…</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Believe it or not, I did come here today with a point, and an actual
idea of what I wanted to say. I just
haven’t gotten there yet. I said above
to read to them often and early. I
mentioned here before that for probably nine or ten years, we read to the boys
before bed, often at the very table I’m at right now, and usually with an apple
or crackers or ice cream snack. Narnia,
Potter, Magic Tree House, Artemas Fowl and, well, a bunch of others. These days, if we can, the boys take a half
hour or so just before bed to read (and detox their eyes from the chromebook
screens) and have for the past three or four years, I’d guess.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, they have read a lot of books in those years and, finally, here’s my
suggestion: if there is a book your child really enjoyed <i>read it yourself.</i> Both Marci
and I have done this over the years - in fact I remember a post about a book
called <a href="http://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2015/01/andy-and-me-and-pie.html" target="_blank"><b>Pie</b></a>, which Nick very
much liked - and it helps a couple of ways.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Foremost, I’d say it is a way to honor and respect your kids. For them to know that you value their opinion
on a book and are willing to read it, that’s a good thing for a child.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Secondly, well, you get a nice look into their intellect and likes and
hopes and, if you don’t mind me getting too hippie-dippie (a psychosocial
analytical term) you can get a peak at that soul they, and you, are slowly
getting to know.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Recently, Z-man finished a book and was raving about it. It is a book called <b>The Looking Glass</b> by Janet McNally. There is a quote from a review on the cover,
“A bittersweet modern fairy tale, tinged with magical realism, that will touch
hearts.” The inside cover describes the
novel as being about two sisters, both upcoming ballet stars, one disappears
and the other, younger sister, goes on a quest to find her. Not a subject I would have thought Z would have
gone for. Frankly, and I hate to say this,
but it is true and the world can’t seem to get away from it, it is probably a “girl”
book.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Both Marci and I were intrigued enough by his enthusiasm to read the
book. I don’t think Marci thought it was
all that, and, actually I didn’t either.
But here’s a few things I think I came to understand about him, things I
probably already knew, but which were reinforced by the book.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I won’t go into deep detail, I don’t want to bear his heart here, but I
can circle around the things I think drew him in.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">There is a strong magical realism element, particularly in one device
the author uses well - a childhood book
of fairy tales which both girls loved sort of reenters their lives. Later, the younger sister, the searcher,
begins to see scenes and vignettes which seem to come directly out of the
books, or, they could simply be coincidence.
This is never made quite clear, leaving the reader to decide that for
himself. Zack really liked that part.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The older sister, the one who runs away, is an opiate addict struggling
to get clean. I know, rough stuff, but I
think he feels ready for these themes and difficult subject matter. Heck, Twain and Orwell and beautiful, tender
Scout, and so many masterpieces are headed right for them and I think books
like this make them, the boys, ready for those.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">There is gay best friend, a strong and dependable new boyfriend, other
good and trustworthy friends and a sibling love and rivalry that is indeed
“bittersweet” as so many are.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’d better stop there. I will say
that when I was a freshman in high school, just a year older then the boys are, a dear librarian gave me a book to read.
A big book, Herman Wouk’s <b>The
Winds of War</b>. One of the main characters in the book, Natalie, was my first
well, crush, I guess… you know.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I think, more than anything, what I learn about the boys when I read the
books they love, is that they are ready.
Perhaps they are trying to tell us this.
I worry that they are too naive and tender for this century we find
ourselves in and perhaps they have picked up on that. Maybe they are trying to signal to us that
they are ready.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I hope so.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We find ourselves, you and I, <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2018/08/on-writing-without-words.html" target="_blank"><i>kind reader</i></a>, at the beginning of a new year and I wonder how it will go. I sense change in the wind of time, but,
honestly, isn’t that always the case?
Lots of things will change – the boys will enter high school, likes and
interests will be different, girls may become a bigger, uh… point of focus – all
those happy starts Shel Silverstein wrote of in his last book, published posthumously:</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“There are no happy endings.<br />
Endings are the saddest part, <br />
So just give me a happy middle<br />
And a very happy start.” <br />
― Shel Silverstein, Every Thing on It</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Thanks, Kevin.)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But, I sense a different change.
It is not a foreboding feeling it’s just that…</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Nope, I can’t quite figure it.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">Here are a couple of things from Marci’s “...things you don't expect to
hear from the backseat ...” <br />
<br />
</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">
</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">"If you want to get the girl, you have to fly a kite."</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">
</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I love non sequitars, especially when they hold some truth.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">
</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">Boy: "Are you taking us to military school?"</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;"><br />
Mom: "No."</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;"><br />
Boy (pointing): "That looks like military school."</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;"><br />
Mom: "That's P&G, honey."</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;"><br />
Boy: "My point exactly."</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">That’s funny right there.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Peace and Happy New Year and all that.
I’ll get back to you when I figure what’s blowing in, if I do.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Thanks for stopping by</span></span></span>Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-21413892958424855472018-12-26T09:31:00.000-05:002018-12-26T09:32:12.506-05:00On Baseballs, Dirt and Shorts<br />
<i>This essay was originally published by the kind folks at <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/" target="_blank">City Dads Group</a> a couple months back under the title "Backyard Baseball Field Fading Fast, Memories Staying Strong." Over the years I've been very good about keeping all the stuff I write - pertaining to the boys and/or childhood - on this page. I hope you don't mind.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
I know where it is. I see it pretty frequently, but, unless you knew
it was there, you’d probably miss it. I picked it up, rescued it really,
from the lawn mower a couple of years back and put it in a fairly
strange place.<br />
<br />
It was hiding in the tall grass, all the way back in the yard, just
this side of the home-run fence. It was what we always called a “game
ball” to differentiate it from a “practice ball.” <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/foul-ball-memories-fathers-sons/">Game balls</a> come off the bat hotter than the smooshy practice balls, so it was worthy of a rescue.<br />
<br />
If you’ve ever been around wooden fences, you know that sometimes the
posts begin to rot at the top where they are vulnerable to the rain and
snow. After many years, thirty-some I’d guess in this case, this can
create a divot at the top, a little bowl that, I know now, is the exact
size of a baseball.<br />
<br />
So, there it sits, rotting itself I am sure, just a little grey dome
now, silent, unhit, uncaught, unmuddied for a couple or more years now.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
+ + +</div>
<br />
I threw away a pair of shorts just yesterday. Those ubiquitous cargo
shorts dads like so much and everyone else seems to hate. They were
fraying at the bottom and the seams for the side pockets were torn and
open. I shouldn’t have been wearing them anymore, honestly. I purchased
them probably eight or so years ago.<br />
<br />
As I looked at them, sitting on top of the trash bin, I got to
thinking. I had worn them so frequently when our twin boys were little.
I’d stuffed those pockets with handkerchiefs and juice boxes, Jolly
Ranchers and jelly beans, smooth stones and acorns, peanut butter
crackers, kazoos and, once, a cute little pink teddy bear in one and a
blue one in the other – <a href="https://citydadsgroup.com/blog/birthday-party-planning-existential-crisis/">parting gifts from a birthday party</a> if memory serves.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
+ + +</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I know where it’s supposed to be and sometimes I think I see it.
Once, it was so worn I had to move the plate back, closer to the house,
making the home-run fence even farther away. The old spot grew back, but
the new one became just as worn as the old one had been by the time a
couple of seasons has passed.<br />
<br />
Even though a rubber practice home plate covered part of the area,
the grass stopped growing and it had became just a dirt patch. Often we
forgot the plate and the boys pounded away at the bare ground, waiting
for my pitch. It’s just under the edge of one of the old twin maples
that shade and grace the backyard. More than once I had to get my
loppers out to trim back a branch or two that were blocking the
trajectory of that hopeful home-run ball.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
+ + +</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
I look out at the backyard and see them, us, really. In the strange
timelessness, the weird immediacy of memory, the scene unfolds.<br />
<br />
The graying, heavyset, man stands next to a bucket of balls. A boy
stands and smacks his bat on a cracked and dirty home plate. Another
boy, glove on, in “ready position” waits in the back of the yard not far
from the fence line flanked by a couple of pine trees.<br />
<br />
They are maybe seven.<br />
<br />
The man, a dad, me, grabs a ball and inexpertly throws a pitch. A swing, the red Easton bat misses – boys don’t miss pitches, bats do.
Another pitch, another swing. He connects but it is a practice ball and
it falls easily into the hand of the boy in the outfield.<br />
<br />
“Stupid practice balls,” the batter complains.<br />
<br />
“Here’s a game ball, dude, see if you can get it,” the dad says.<br />
<br />
“Save it for later, for after I’m warmed up.”<br />
<br />
“All right.”<br />
<br />
Not knowing what to do with the ball, he doesn’t want it mixed back
in with the others, he tries to stick it in the front pocket but it’s
too tight in there. About to throw it back in the bucket he notices the
side pocket, the cargo pocket, of his new shorts and settles the ball in
there.<br />
<br />
As the at-bat continues and he finds three more good balls, the
pockets accommodate all four comfortably. He uses the first one he found
last. The bucket is empty and the other boy will be up soon, after the
balls are collected, the hits recalled and the diving catches bragged
about. Backyard tradition has it that the last hit requires a run around
the bases.<br />
<br />
The pressure is on.<br />
<br />
A soft throw, low and outside, just where he likes them. A red swoosh
of bat. Ding! Loud and hard. The ball soars, the outfielder has a good
jump on it, but comes up short. The ball sails on, it might go over …<br />
<br />
Thwack, right into the top rail, it drops into the pine needles and tall grass of the neglected fence line.<br />
“I can’t find it, Dad,” the fielder shouts in frustration, “He’s coming around third, you gotta get him at home!”<br />
<br />
He pretend throws a pretend ball. The dad pretend catches it, runs
toward home. The batter, now base runner, slides into home for real. His
left foot catches the base, sends it flying and then his shoe tears
into the grass underneath, skidding out a divot and the bare, brown dirt
is exposed. The tag misses.<br />
<br />
“Safe!”<br />
<br />
In the excitement, the ball is forgotten.<br />
<br />
The next batter is up.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
+ + +</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
A misplaced, forlorn baseball. A worn out, thrown-away pair of shorts. A grown back batter’s box.<br />
<br />
Endings all.<br />
<br />
It is easy to spot beginnings. They are anticipated and celebrated.
First steps, first spicy salsa, first T-ball practice, first school
this, first church that, you know them. They go down in our memories.
They are photographed and posted and bragged upon – as well they should.<br />
<br />
But the lasts … man, the lasts you don’t see them coming sometimes.<br />
<br />
We haven’t had batting practice in the backyard for a couple of years
now, it occurs to me. I think we got tired of climbing the fence. I can
only think of one time we even had a toss back there this year. I’d
have liked to have known that they were the last, I’d have savored them
more, remembered them better.<br />
<br />
Right now, though, as I sit here at the dining room table looking
back on our little field of dreams, I think I did savor them. Maybe,
every time we played was just practice for the last time. Maybe every
moment is a <i>last</i>. Maybe every pitch is a <i>first</i>. Maybe every moment is simply a <i>now</i>
– a now held in the leather of a glove, in the dirt of a backyard, in
the pine needles and tall grass of a fence line, in the frayed and worn
pockets of a pair of shorts, in the strong branches of a maple tree, in
these tears as I look back there as I write.<br />
<br />
But, new beginnings await. New nows, new lasts. Don’t they?<br />
<br />
Excuse me, I’m going to go fish a pair of shorts out of the trash. My heart’s not done with them yet.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIhR4eQU_Jf_JKKg4f3b4G_8Tvk4D1rf0HPEIh3DMwx1MGlunTw3TBZLNLWfhSaV7gqSKWPR94GjBZDsgDw8YeR9PX9g09o5ATRpFgOgzymKe7gntpDUBVjQUjaF-l1NtWYd5NXEwNJY/s1600/IMG_20181017_100021175.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIhR4eQU_Jf_JKKg4f3b4G_8Tvk4D1rf0HPEIh3DMwx1MGlunTw3TBZLNLWfhSaV7gqSKWPR94GjBZDsgDw8YeR9PX9g09o5ATRpFgOgzymKe7gntpDUBVjQUjaF-l1NtWYd5NXEwNJY/s320/IMG_20181017_100021175.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>Thanks for stopping by. These days I am never quite sure when you might hear from me again.</i><br />
<br />
<i>Peace.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i> </i> Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-13554461117040673052018-10-26T11:54:00.004-04:002024-01-11T16:29:09.064-05:00On the Conundrum of Faith<span style="font-size: large;"><i>This piece originally published on CityDadsGroup a while back. I
am adding it here, because, well... I like all these words in one place.</i><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">
***</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I am paying attention, although sometimes that just means that I am
aware of my inattention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Words are floating around in the high space above.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sunlight through stained glass lights the
pews across from us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The scent of
perfumed parishioners and powdered babies mingles with incense past and, oddly,
Old Spice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All is familiar, routine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The words drop from above, and I focus on them, or try to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">“… let us give thanks to the Lord.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Two boys of the same age are standing in the row with me, my wife beyond
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look down at the closest one as
he says, “It is right and just.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
doesn’t just mumble or mouth the words, he enunciates them and slightly juts
his head and chin forward and up as he says “right” and “just.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">He is six.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows these words
and has a sweet, beginner’s understanding of the depth and power of concepts
like righteousness and justice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The celebrant continues, “It is truly right and just, our duty and our
salvation, always and everywhere, Lord, holy Father, almighty and eternal God,
through Christ our Lord.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The same boy,
mouthing silently now, recites the sentence, his cadence and commas in perfect
order.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Of course, since we are in this holy place, all I can think is, ‘holy
crap, he knows all the words to the Mass.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That may seem, well, frankly, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">be</i>
sacrilegious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that may be my point,
but I’ll come back to it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">A few years later a story of those same two boys, coming out of their
religious ed. class, and…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">You know what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t, at least
I can’t very well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, I had this
all planned out with notes and quotes and heartfelt stories, but I don’t think
that’s going to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had every hope
of defending my Faith, an unpopular one these days, and explaining why we
continue to go every Sunday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem
is, I’m not sure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Is “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">because I always have”</i> a
good enough answer?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is the memory of
those Sundays of my childhood, spent with family and friends in a small,
protestant church in small town middle America enough to explain my presence
now in in a bigger, Catholic church in a bigger town not far from that old,
white steepled church of my youth?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Is “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">our sons have been nearly
every Sunday and Holy Day of their entire lives”</i> any kind of real reason to
keep showing up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has it just become
habit? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Routine that perhaps needs to be
reexamined?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has it become a thing we do
because we simply think we should?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Sometimes I look around in our church and wonder why row after row of
families make the effort to be there week after week and wonder if the effort
is still worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are they all – are we
all – crazy for our faith and ardent in our belief?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we pious and good and righteous and full
of the fire of the Holy Spirit?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
these people… many of them are not. I’m not, particularly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Then, again, I ask: why are we all here, what’s to be gained?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can teach these morals to our sons without
the stained-glass structure, without the ritual and rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Love thy neighbor as thyself” isn’t too
difficult a concept, is it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why those
doors? Why this pew? Why that altar?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">From just beyond that altar the words float into the high clerestory on
a melody both ancient and modern, chanted both by monks centuries ago and on
the vinyl recording of Godspell I played in the seventies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I focus on the words: “For all things living,
You have made good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Harvest of sown
fields, Fruits of the orchard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hay from
the mown fields, Blossom and wood.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such
poetry – good, wood, sown, mown - such serenity, such simplicity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Later, a story from a book-marked Mark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The main character heals a man’s deafness and speech impediment by
sticking his finger in his ear and spitting on his tongue as he “groans” toward
heaven saying “Ephphatha!” the Greek form of the Aramiac word meaning “Be
opened.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a beautiful word, what an
important command, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">be opened</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Sometimes there is fragrant incense or the scent of the Baptismal oil
chrism. There is the taste of wine and bread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A high school boy sings a “Hallelujah” and cantors a psalm with growing
confidence, his modern style counterpointing the sonorous tones of the
celebrant.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Just this Sunday, I looked over at my sons, engaged, attentive,
comfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My wife, beyond them,
smiled at me as a boy – a mancub, really – leaned against her, peaceful, as he
has been for as long as he remembers. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
thought of how, well, how damn beautiful it all was, this inundation of
senses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, that wasn’t all of it. I
knew I was missing something.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I know that, for me, my religion is just a frame around my spirituality,
more within, I’d say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t mean this
the wrong way, but, I don’t really care if the boys become followers of Christ,
per se.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Buddhism seems cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Judaism is so long and rich.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Islam so stunningly visual and
respectful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nihilism is nice and
hedonism has its place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I can’t
teach all those ideas. I don’t know the languages.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Christianity is the picture frame I know and grew up with. I know the
stories and the words and the songs of redemption and creation within <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this</i> place, at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this</i> altar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shouldn’t I want
to pass that faith tradition on?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No,
really, I just want to show it to them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">And, perhaps in so doing, I am showing them beauty.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Maybe, someday far from now, they will sit in a concert hall or they
will stand in an art gallery or they will overlook a great canyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And they’ll remember.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe, they will feel the love of sons and
daughters, wives and husbands, or hear the cries of lament and longing, and
think back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A melody.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A fountain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A wafer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A glass of madeira,
incense on the wind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">My hope is that the sacred and beauty will become one for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That Faith will be Hope; Love will be
Beauty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God; Good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peace a Goodbye.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Am I being sacrilegious?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Probably. Is this all bad theology?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this piss poor
apologetics, indeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did, however,
answer why we will be there next Sunday.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Please don’t tell my pastor I wrote this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peace.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-ELxAn4LF7ufhWQoKDw30h94tljq0TeUBdebvhH3DVOb1WKxC9-f-QAfiEqsdC6yUYMhtA47T0vSTroJM3bWszpufOifqAe_6JanSvA5G-O0UoW6jRZ64Y1BoCf2pwJu213Nmj93f98/s1600/DSCN1518.2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1600" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-ELxAn4LF7ufhWQoKDw30h94tljq0TeUBdebvhH3DVOb1WKxC9-f-QAfiEqsdC6yUYMhtA47T0vSTroJM3bWszpufOifqAe_6JanSvA5G-O0UoW6jRZ64Y1BoCf2pwJu213Nmj93f98/s320/DSCN1518.2.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> ***</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Thanks for taking a look if you'd not seen this before.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Peace. </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-12011860968410371252018-09-14T12:12:00.003-04:002019-01-02T12:16:20.180-05:00On Maths and Misspellings<br />
<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
For nearly seven years I've maintained this page. It is hard to say why - although I have tried, over and over and over - I have composed nearly five-hundred posts. I suppose that is because of the quicksilver quality of <i>intent</i>. Early on it was quirky and fun, bordering on silly, towards the middle it was about storytelling and these days, well, the mercury has slipped from my hand.<br />
<br />
For instance, there was a time when I teased a lot about Nick's spelling mistakes - don't get me wrong, I still think they are hilarious - but, as I look at this now, today, a different perspective presents. <i> He tried. </i>He didn't care if he couldn't spell a word, he used it anyway. If he spelled "seconds" "<a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2017/02/why-you-cant-pin-memory-on-timeline.html" target="_blank">cecants</a>" or tried "<a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2015/03/honey-salt-n-butter.html" target="_blank">explanishion</a>" for "explaination," who cares? <br />
<br />
Here's the thing, he's still trying on words. He has a wonderful, clever and almost playful relationship with words these days. Sometimes, still, he may use a word incorrectly, but, often, there is a sort of loveliness in his mistakes. The other day he used a mashup that still echoes in my mind, "aloneliness" for "you know, when you are by yourself in your room and missing your friends."<br />
<br />
Indeed, Nick, I do know that feeling.<br />
<br />
<br />
More than once over the years, I poked a little fun at Zack's weird math problems and charts and such. There were a lot of numbers in the, well, stuff he crafted and drew and noted. There are a couple of examples in this post, <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2011/12/quirky-little-math-piece-or-move-over.html" target="_blank">The Quirky Little Math Piece (or Move Over Einstein)</a> (no, your title's too long). In it he did a strange backwards equation, and another, stranger, algebraic-like thing. When he handed it to me he asked, "Is it right?"<br />
<br />
I told him it was.<br />
<br />
He still likes to get things right and the math has gotten much more accurate.<br />
<br />
Here, I'll show you:<br />
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This is on the opposite side:<br />
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Finally, he got out the graph paper to present his final answer, showing his work:<br />
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I don't really get what it is, something to do with the total possible permutations on a Rubik's cube. He says it's right, I don't doubt it.<br />
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I spoke earlier of <i>intent</i>. Boy, that's a rabbit hole of a word - but it comes down to purpose, reason. 'Intentionality' is actually a philosophical concept. Although it all seems clear in the definition, my intentions have been anything but - they've shifted, morphed, evolved, wavered. They've at times been pure and true and at other times they have been misguided, mismanaged, muddled.<br />
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I guess when I started out, I wanted to show <i>you</i> them. Then I sort of got the notion that I was showing <i>them </i>them. I think that may have changed into <i>me</i> wanting to show <i>you </i>me <i>showing </i>them them. At times, more recently I've been trying to show <i>them</i> me. Add wanting, at times, to impress<i> </i>or agitate or endear or cajole, well... <i>you</i>. Confused? You get used to it.<br />
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This is the part where I conclude with one all-encompassing theory of intent. I shone a light on the misspellings and maths way back when because I thought it was cute and fun, which they were. Today though, I see what they are doing now, who they are becoming, with such deeper clarity because of those very things.<br />
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So, here's my theory: <i>We can't know intent, we can only guess at it</i>.<br />
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You're welcome.<br />
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Peace.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">From Marci's "... things you don't expect to hear <strike>from the backseat </strike>at the breakfast table ..."</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Sunday morning breakfast humor:<br /> "Excalibutter"</span><br />
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Yes, indeed you are correct, Nick said it...<br />
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Thanks for stopping by, quite a "<a href="http://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/12/sellabrashin-day-post.html" target="_blank">sellabrashin</a>" wouldn't you say?<br />
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(If you were to view my blog in a real web browser, in other words, not the lame mobile mode, you'd see that there are "random" posts, and an archive and a whole bunch of "topics" off to the left of the posts. One of them is "<a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/search/label/misspellings" target="_blank">misspellings</a>" and another is "<a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/search/label/take-home%20folder" target="_blank">take-home folder.</a>" Some of them are really sweet and cute... just thought I'd let you know.)<br />
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<span style="background-color: red;"></span><br />Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3680851414073805302.post-47647909205294193342018-08-31T14:39:00.000-04:002018-08-31T14:39:03.151-04:00On Other First Days<br />
Okay, so... how's everyone doing? Good. It's back to school season and the parent bloggers and memeists (one who memes) are out in full force with their "first day of school" posts and such and well... WTF!?<br />
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I googled "back to school memes+parents" and I just, well, can't. This is the very first one that popped up:<br />
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Here's another from an article in the bastion of enlightenment and truth, The Huffington Post - you know, the folks who don't pay for content. Apparently, a blogger mommy posted this on her FB page:<br />
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(I think I'm supposed to give her credit or <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mom-keeps-it-real-in-hilarious-back-to-school-photo_us_57c05528e4b02673444fb65b" target="_blank">something</a>...) ((The more I look at this the angrier I become - "Favorite Summer memory: Today!" What?! It's just, well, disrespectful...))<br />
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There are hundreds more, most involve wine and celebrating, one said all the women in Target on the first day of school had wine in their baskets, ha-ha. If you don't know what I'm talking about just google it, but, I'd guess you've seen a million of them this last week.<br />
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That vast majority of them are basically this, <i>I couldn't wait to get rid of my kids because the were driving me nuts</i> and/or <i>I am so glad they are gone so I can daydrink again</i>. They're supposed be funny and light-hearted but I don't think they are. I don't think they are even clever, or well-rendered or... worthy. Plainly stated they are <i>tropes</i>, which MW defines as "<span class="st">a common or overused theme or device," you know, like the bumbling idiot dad - a trope used often by the same kind of bloggers.</span><br />
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<span class="st">I've called folks on them and complained about them on their FB pages but everyone's britches get in a bind because they were "only kidding" or "it's just a joke" and "like you don't feel the same way." Yeah... well, I don't.</span><br />
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<span class="st"><i>And even if I did, I wouldn't let my boys know that</i>.</span><br />
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<span class="st">Listen, I get it, truth be told, at thirteen, twin boys can be, well... a lot. Their friends come over quite a bit and they are loud and obnoxious and messy and big. They crack couch frames and stain carpets and the socks, my God, the socks. There is taking them to the pool and driving them to this and that and feeding them <b>all the time</b> and... yes, it's difficult and consuming. But, it's what I signed up for, it's my damn job.</span><br />
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<span class="st">I am about to paint myself in a corner here and, well, I shouldn't. I am sure many parents <i>are</i> glad their kids are back in school - dual income parents, single moms and dads and others. Frankly, I look forward to the silence and time to myself.</span><br />
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<span class="st">As parents we are constantly sending our kids away, ushering them into the future, showing them what's next. Perhaps, this is what all the celebrating is, or should be, them going into another year of the adventure that is life.</span><br />
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<span class="st">And, even though it may seem contradictory, right now, our kids need to know they are safe and secure and, well, <i>wanted</i> at home. That's what I meant before when I said 'worthy.' Our sons and daughters are better than a trope about how happy we are to have them gone, better than the notion that we have to drink to get over them, or that they cast undo hardship on us, that they are a burden.</span><br />
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<span class="st">What are the children of all these memists going to think - what do they think - when they encounter, now or in the future, these images, often of them, which seem only too mock them, to make them the butt of a joke? I think it's something to think about.</span><br />
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<span class="st">Here's a back to school meme I made:</span><br />
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Sorry, that noise was me putting my soapbox away...<br />
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I took a look back at my first day of school posts over the years to make sure I wasn't guilty of this thinking and I thought I'd share them.<br />
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My first attempt was in 2012 and featured the two handwritten notes the boys wrote for their teachers that year. It's called <a href="http://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2012/08/im-varey-icesited-to-meat-you.html" target="_blank"><b>"I'm Varey Icesited To Meat You"</b></a> and it's really quite adorable.<br />
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In 2013, I wrote this lackluster post out of a feeling of necessity. I probably shouldn't of but, and this might be important, I do not go back and edit any of the old post around here - short of a grammatical error here and there. It's titled <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2013/08/post-gaps.html" target="_blank"><b>"Post Gaps"</b></a> and I don't actually hate it, I mean its pretty honest.<br />
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I'd say this one, <a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2014/08/what-to-do-on-first-day-of-school.html?m=0" target="_blank"><b>"What to do on the First Day of School"</b></a> from 2014, is my favorite.<br />
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I wrote "<b><a href="https://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2015/09/touched-stones-and-penciled-lines.html" target="_blank">Touched Stones and Penciled Lines</a>" </b>in 2015. It's sort of odd. I start with a story about three different boys in three different times and the things they carried and cherished and then I share some love notes and sage wisdom (I wish). It's funny, I like the post but very few have ever seen it... not that it matters.<br />
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In 2016, I wrote <b><a href="http://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-loud-stuff.html" target="_blank">"The Loud Stuff"</a> </b>about a young scared and excited boy, me, heading to his first day of school and another nervous and anxious boy, Nick, whose worries get a bit loud in his head. You've been there I'd guess, but I found N's awareness of it interesting and, well, good. You need to listen to the loud stuff, and to the quiet between.<br />
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I didn't post much last year, hardly at all, truth be told, so there's not one for 2017. I guess this piece, <a href="http://ihopeiwinatoaster.blogspot.com/2017/12/forward-looking-back.html" target="_blank"><b>"Forward Looking Back"</b>,</a> from December is about as close as I got.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">From Marci's "...things you don't expect to hear from the backseat..."</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">"Bacon heals."</span><br />
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Subject, verb. Show me a better sentence.<br />
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Thanks for stopping by, sorry I got all riled up there for a second... ya'll know how I get.<br />
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Peace.<br />
<br />Bill Peebleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08184122519445425718noreply@blogger.com2